Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph provides information about the rate of in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia asian countries, the individuals who live in cities between 1920 to 2020, then aslo redict the percentage to 2030 to 2040. Overall, in the start Indonesia percentage was significant low and Philippines percentage was high as compared to among all, Malaysia and Thailand rate were between them.

Othe the one factor, in 1970 Indonesia rate was 15% and Thailand rate was 19% ,then in 2000 Indonesia cities population percentage was crossover the Thailand population, in contrast Philippines and Malaysia cities population rate were 31% respactively in 1970 but then 1980 Philippines percentage was low then Malaysia.In 1990 Philippines crossover the Malaysia. In 2010 Indonesia again cross Philippines cities population. In 2040 Indonesia was the 2nd most population country due to the gain population of cities. In 2040, Thailand percentage rate was around 40% who was low among all. However Philippines pecentage was 10% high then Thailand and around 5% low then from Indonesia. In addition, Malaysia population above 80% who was far high from other countries and indonesia was above 55% who was the 2nd most high population country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The candidate attempts to cover the main features of the graph, identifying general trends such as Malaysia having the highest figures by 2040 and Indonesia starting low and increasing significantly. However, the response suffers from numerous factual inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. For instance, the dates span from 1970 to 2040, but the writer incorrectly states 'between 1920 to 2020'. Furthermore, comparisons are frequently confusing or incorrect, such as stating that in 1970 Philippines and Malaysia rates were 31% respectively (Malaysia was actually 30%, Philippines 32%), and struggling to accurately track which country overtook another. While an overview is attempted, the lack of precision and confusing delivery prevent the response from achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The organization of the response is weak. Although the writer attempts to break the text into paragraphs, the internal progression of ideas is extremely difficult to follow due to poor cohesive devices and disjointed sentence structures. Transitions like 'Othe the one factor' are non-standard and fail to guide the reader logically through the data. Referencing and pronoun use are also problematic; phrases like 'who was low among all' create confusion regarding whether the writer is referring to countries or percentages. Paragraphing is rudimentary, and the overall progression lacks a clear, logical framework.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is highly limited and repetitious, relying heavily on basic terms like 'rate', 'percentage', 'population', and 'country'. There are frequent word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'significant low' instead of significantly low, 'gain population' instead of population growth, and 'most population country' instead of most populated country. Spelling errors and non-existent words like 'redict' (predict) and 'respactively' (respectively) further constrain the lexical score. The vocabulary is just about adequate to communicate the basic topic, but fails to show flexibility or precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences attempt simple or faulty complex forms, and there is a total lack of error-free sentences. Frequent grammatical errors include missing articles, incorrect prepositions, tense confusion (mixing past data with future projections awkwardly), and structural fragmentation (e.g., 'In addition, Malaysia population above 80% who was far high from other countries'). Subject-verb agreement and clause construction errors are pervasive throughout the text, frequently impeding the reader's comprehension.

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