Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph gives us information about the percentage of the population of the four countries of Asia from 1970 to 2020.
In 1970 the Philippines was more population then the other given countries but in the same year the population of Malaysia crossed the population of Philippines. In 1980 the population of Malaysia was 40%. In 1990 the population 0f Philippines again reached on the top.
In the decade of 1990 the Philippines government control the birth rate and their population reduced on a large scale. In 1970 Indonesia was minimum
population only 12%. The
population of Indonesia is increased on a large scale. In 2010 the population of Indonesia was equal to the population of Philippines.
In 2012 the population of Indonesia was increased to the population of Philippines. In 1970 Thailand was 19% population and the government of the Thailand control the birth rate in the decade of 1970. Now Thailand has minimum population then the other given countries.
In conclusion the governments of the countries are able to control the population. If they pay attention on it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The student attempts to describe the graph, but completely misinterprets the data by treating the percentages of urban population as absolute headcounts or birth rates (e.g., claiming governments 'control the birth rate' and mentioning years like 2012 which are not on the graph). The overview is missing, and the information selected fails to accurately capture the main trends shown in the line graph, such as Malaysia's steep rise or Indonesia's continuous growth. Consequently, the response falls short of fully addressing the demands of Task 1.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text is divided into short paragraphs, but the organization lacks logical progression and clarity. Cohesive devices are minimal and often misused. Sentences are disjointed, making it difficult to follow the development of ideas. Furthermore, paragraphing is arbitrary and does not group related information effectively, which disrupts the overall flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'population' and 'countries'. There are notable lexical inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices, such as 'more population then' instead of 'a higher urban population than', and confusing demographic terms like 'birth rate'. These limitations restrict the precision needed for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains a very limited range of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences joined by basic conjunctions. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense confusion (e.g., 'population of Indonesia is increased'), prepositions, and comparative structures ('more population then'). These errors frequently cause strain for the reader, though the general topic remains discernible.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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