Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates the proportion of the citizens in four Asian countries living in urban areas between 1970 and 2020, with assumption for year 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it is vivid that , the percentage of population living the Malaysia and Indonesia followed an increasing trend with major flutuation , whereas , Philippines and Thailand followed decreasing trend with minor flutuation.
In 1970, the proportion of public lived in Malaysia was 30% which become double in 2020. Therafter, it will contionusly climbed to 80% in 2040. Moving further , the percentage of public in indonesia accounted for 10% in 1970, which climbed by 40% in mid ,therafter it kept on increasing.
With regard , to The philippines the propertion of citizen was 50% in 1990 which kept on decreasing
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 130 words, which negatively impacts Task Achievement. Furthermore, the overview contains factual inaccuracies regarding the trends: the student states that the Philippines and Thailand followed a 'decreasing trend,' whereas the data clearly shows an overall upward trend for both countries. While some main features are selected, such as Malaysia's growth, the misinterpretation of trends and incomplete data coverage prevent the score from exceeding band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has an introduction and body paragraphs, but the paragraphing is underdeveloped and abrupt, ending mid-sentence. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Moving further ,' and 'With regard , to,' where punctuation is severely misused (extra spaces before commas). Logical progression is disrupted by incorrect trend summaries, making the overall structure disjointed.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., 'assumption' instead of 'predictions', 'flutuation', 'therafter', 'contionusly', 'propertion'). While some topic-related vocabulary appears ('proportion', 'urban areas'), the presence of frequent lexical errors and limited range restrict the score to band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures with frequent errors. Examples include tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing like 'the proportion of public lived in Malaysia was 30% which become double'. Punctuation errors are pervasive throughout the text, and the response ends with an incomplete sentence, demonstrating poor control over sentence boundaries and grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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