Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph present the number of citizens acommodate capatilize Asian cities from 1970 to 2020, and a prediction data for 10 and 20 years in time.
Overall, the data depict an increase in the number of populations from 15% and forcasted to reach almost 50% in Thailand and Philippines, 60% in Indonesia and 80% of the city occupied in Malaysia.
Indonesia started with a 15% of population in cities and rapidly increases to a predicted value of 60% from 1970 to 2040. The number of citizens were much lower than Philippines and Thailand, but it proceeded them in 2000 and 2010.
Similar boost in the number of city occupation has showen in Malaysia. Began at 30% and lower than Philippines, but as time passed, the number has increased over a period of 40 years. The graph speculated to reach a 80% population of Malaysian cities.
Although, both Philippines and Thailand cities have observed a moderate increase with an almost 30% and 20% respectively, the increment is quit slow and predicted reach no more than 60% in 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address the task by summarizing the main trends from the graph regarding the percentage of the population living in cities in four Asian countries. An overview is provided in the second paragraph, capturing general upward trends. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and expression. For instance, the student states the starting point was 15% and forecasted to reach 50% in Thailand and the Philippines, which mixes up the countries and figures. Indonesia's initial percentage is correctly identified at around 15%, but other figures lack precision and clarity. Furthermore, the phrasing 'prediction data for 10 and 20 years in time' is awkward. While the main features are touched upon, the lack of accurate data reporting and some confusing comparisons limit the response to a Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for the countries. However, the logical progression is hindered by weak cohesive devices and confusing referencing. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Although, both Philippines and Thailand cities...' are used incorrectly, as there is no contrast established in the subsequent clause. The sequencing of ideas within paragraphs feels disjointed, such as jumping between Indonesia's past and future in a single, tangled sentence. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion and flow require significant improvement to achieve a higher band, placing this response firmly at Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very limited and contains numerous severe lexical errors and awkward collocations. Examples include 'accommodate capitalize Asian cities', 'number of populations', 'city occupied', 'city occupation', and 'increment is quit slow'. Many of these terms are misused or semantically incorrect for the context of urban population percentages. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary, the high frequency of word-choice errors and non-standard phrasing severely strains the reader and impedes clear communication, reflecting the descriptors for Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, dominated by simple and poorly controlled complex structures. There are frequent, noticeable errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and basic sentence construction. Examples include 'The line graph present', 'rapidly increases' (mixed tenses with past reference), 'has showen', and 'predicted reach no more than'. Missing prepositions and articles are pervasive throughout the text. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching a Band 5.0, resulting in a Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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