Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph shows the proportion of the population in four Asian countries Philipines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia living in cities over during a fifty year period.
Overall, it is clear that percentage of total population Malaysia and Thailand showed a steady but significant rise over the period, while the percentage of the total population in Philipines experienced a downward trend.
In 1970, Malaysia percentage of total population stood at 30%. This figure increased significant to 60% in 2000 and then rose sharply to 80% in 2040. Similarly, Indonesia started at 18% in 1970 and grew steadily to 25% to 2010. Before reaching 50% in 2040.
On the other hand, Philippines had the lowest percentage. It began at only 35% in 1980. By comparison, it grew slightly to 48% in 2020 and then to 55% in 2040. In addition, Thailand dramaticaly decrease over the time period.Consequently, despite being the lowest, it also experienced considerable growth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to cover all four countries, but the response contains several factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the writer claims that Malaysia rose sharply to 80% in 2040 (which is correct), but then states that Indonesia started at 18% in 1970 and grew to 25% in 2010 before reaching 50% in 2040, whereas Indonesia actually started at 14% and reached 64%. Furthermore, the summary regarding the Philippines is confused, stating it experienced a downward trend in the overview yet later mentioning it grew to 55%. The overview mentions that Malaysia and Thailand showed a steady rise while the Philippines experienced a downward trend, which misinterprets the data since the Philippines ultimately increased from 32% to 55.5%. Due to these inaccuracies in data reporting and the flawed overview, the task achievement is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is divided into logical paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by contradictory statements and confusing referencing. For example, in the body paragraphs, sentences abruptly shift subjects or present contradictory information without smooth transitions, such as 'Consequently, despite being the lowest, it also experienced considerable growth,' which follows a confusing sentence about Thailand. Cohesive devices are attempted (e.g., 'Overall', 'In 1970', 'On the other hand'), but their misuse and the lack of clear logical links between sentences detract from the overall coherence of the text. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires improvement.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with several word-choice and collocation errors. Examples of awkward phrasing include 'Malaysia percentage of total population stood at' (missing possessive 's') and 'Thailand dramaticaly decrease over the time period' (incorrect form and spelling). The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'proportion', 'steady', and 'considerable', but these are undermined by frequent inaccuracies in word form (e.g., 'decrease' instead of 'decreased', 'significant' instead of 'significantly'). The range is adequate for a basic summary, but lexical limitations and errors restrict the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical accuracy is weak throughout. There are numerous errors in verb tenses, word forms, and basic sentence construction. Examples include 'percentage of total population Malaysia and Thailand showed' (missing preposition/article), 'This figure increased significant' (adjective instead of adverb), and 'Philippines had the lowest percentage. It began at only 35% in 1980. By comparison, it grew slightly...' where the data cited does not match the graph. Punctuation errors also appear, such as missing commas after introductory time phrases. While some sentences are clear, frequent grammatical errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader.
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