Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides information about the population percentages in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it can be observed that the population percentage was quite high in Malaysia and Indonesia in 2020 and is expected to decline in future. Similarily, the population density of Thailand and Philippines is projected to rise despite the past fluctuations.
To begin with, percentage of population in Indonesia increased significantly from 11% to 50% by 2020. It is projected to attain the figure of 60% by 2040. Meanwhile, figure for Thailand rose from 18%, remained stable after being 30% bty 2020. However, the estimated value is approximately 50% over the following years.
Conversely, the proportion of population density of Malaysia was reported as 30% in 1970 but it increased to 80% by 2020, while its projected figure is around 90% in 2040. The population percentage of Phillipines experienced fluctuations while starting from 32% in 1970. It is expected to attain the figure of 60% over the incoming years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address all parts of the task by summarising the main trends and making comparisons between the four countries. However, there are significant factual inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the student states that Indonesia's population in cities 'increased significantly from 11% to 50% by 2020', whereas the graph shows it started at 14% and reached 52%. Furthermore, the overview contains a major error by claiming that the urban population in Malaysia and Indonesia 'is expected to decline in future', which directly contradicts the upward trends shown in the graph. These errors in data interpretation and generalisation prevent the response from achieving a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is arranged into four paragraphs, including an introduction and an overall summary, which shows an awareness of standard task structure. However, the logical progression is flawed due to the inaccurate data and confusing grouping of information. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'Similarily' (misspelled) and 'To begin with', which do not appropriately link the body paragraphs. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences within the body paragraphs feels mechanical rather than naturally flowing, resulting in an overall lack of smooth progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range to discuss general trends, using terms such as 'percentage', 'projected', 'fluctuations', and 'proportion'. However, there is noticeable lexical inaccuracy and unnatural phrasing, such as 'population percentages in four asian countries' (capitalisation error), 'population density' (incorrectly used instead of 'percentage of population'), and spelling errors like 'Similarily' and 'bty'. Less common lexical items are attempted, but their inaccurate usage and minor spelling slips occasionally cause slight confusion for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'The graph provides information about...' and '...while its projected figure is around 90% in 2040.' However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several errors in article usage and prepositions, such as 'percentage of population in Indonesia' instead of 'the percentage', and issues with tense consistency and modifier placement. While these errors do not completely obscure the intended meaning, they occur frequently enough to impede smooth reading and demonstrate limited control over complex forms.
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