Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The population of Malaysia is among the top countries that continue to move to cities and more than 90% of their population will be living in cities in 2020. Whereas, Thailand population will be almost 45% in cities around 2020. Indonessian population from 2000, has significantly moved to cities and its 60% will be living in cities till 2040. Additionally, Phillippines showed an increased in moving to cities from 1980 from 30 to 50 percent but then decreased to 40% till 2010 and is now, slowly increasing its move to cities and will be having an estimated 52% of its population in cities around 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at only 105 words, which severely limits the development of the task. Furthermore, there are several factual inaccuracies regarding the data presented in the graph. For instance, the student states that 'more than 90% of their population will be living in cities in 2020' for Malaysia, whereas the actual figure is around 76%. Another inaccuracy is noted when describing the Philippines' data ('from 1980 from 30 to 50 percent'), which does not match the provided graph. While the response attempts to report on multiple countries, the numerous misreadings of the data and the under-length penalty restrict the score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is presented as a single, dense paragraph rather than being appropriately structured into an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Although some basic cohesive devices are used (such as 'Whereas' and 'Additionally'), referencing and logical flow are sometimes faulty, as seen in the abrupt transitions between countries. There is a lack of clear overall progression, and the mechanical grouping of disparate statistics impedes easy navigation of the text. Paragraphing is entirely absent, which negatively impacts the organizational structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, relying heavily on phrases like 'move to cities' and 'living in cities'. There are also spelling errors ('Indonessian', 'Phillippines') and awkward word choices ('increasing its move to cities'). The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for a precise discussion of statistical trends, failing to demonstrate the ability to use less common lexical items or appropriate synonyms such as 'urbanisation' or 'proportion'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The text displays a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting primarily of simple and faulty complex sentences. There are notable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'Thailand population will be almost 45%' (missing possessive 'Thailand's') and 'Phillippines showed an increased in moving' (incorrect noun form instead of 'increase'). Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. These frequent errors occasionally cause strain for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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