Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph describes the percentage of the population living in four asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030.

Overall, the graph shows highest prediction population in the Malasiya. In 1970, largest population in the Philippines.

In 1970, Philippines had a largest population in Asian cities compared to Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia. Philippines had been incresed lives population in 1990, at 50%. After 1990 that dimished to the population. at a 40% and slightly increased prediction for 2030 by 51%. Malasia had been second most highest population in the Asian countries at 29%. Therefore fluctuated during 1990. After that asharply rosen to the population as well as highest prediction for 2030.

Indonesia had been one of lowest people stayed this country. at 11%. Therefore fluctuated between 1980 to 2000. In 2010, sharply increased thew stayed people in the coutry at 50%. Therefor slightly diminished to the population. In 1970, Thilend country citizen lives in 19%. After that slightly enhanced lives population. Then remained stable in 2020. As well as population prediction will slightly increased for 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The student attempts to address the task by reporting data from the graph, but the response suffers from significant inaccuracies in data interpretation and a failure to present a clear, coherent overview. For instance, the writer states that the Philippines had the 'largest population in Asian cities' in 1970, confusing percentage data with total population figures. Furthermore, many of the figures cited (such as Indonesia in 2010 at 50% instead of roughly 43%) are misread or inaccurate. The overview is weak, lacking a clear summary of the overall trends, such as the general upward trajectory of urbanization across all four countries. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the requirements of Task 1.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response lacks a clear logical organisation and progression. While the student attempts paragraphing, the body paragraphs are a confusing jumble of disjointed sentences jumping between countries and years without a coherent structure. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Therefore fluctuated' or 'After that asharply rosen', which disrupts the flow of information. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which country or time period is being discussed. Overall, information is not arranged in a coherent manner.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical range is quite basic and repetitive. The student frequently misuses vocabulary and collocations, such as 'diminished to the population', 'lives population', and 'stayed people in the country'. There are also frequent spelling and word-choice errors, including 'Malasiya', 'Malasia', 'asharply rosen', 'thew', 'coutry', and 'Thilend'. These lexical shortcomings and inaccuracies occasionally strain the reader's understanding and reflect a limited vocabulary appropriate for Academic Task 1.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. Attempts at complex or past/future time forms are consistently faulty, as seen in phrases like 'Philippines had been incresed lives population' and 'Thilend country citizen lives in 19%. After that slightly enhanced lives population.' Punctuation and verb tense usage are erratic. Errors are frequent and often cause difficulty or confusion for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

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