Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows percentage of population.

It can be seeen that, the graph illustrates percentage of population, in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with perdictions for 2030 and 2040.

In 1970 total population 30% in malaysia and in 1980 population 40% had happend increased, and after decade had slighlty and population 45%, in 2000 to 2020 population had grew and total population 60% to escalated 85%, and 2030 to 2040 it will be increase and total population will be 85% to increase 90% in 2040. In 1970 total population in philippines 30% and in 1980 were remained stable but in 1990 had increased and total population 48% but after decade had decreased and total population 43% and in 2010 total population 40% and in 2020 population had increased slighlty and population 35% in 2020. In future it will be between 2030 and 2040 total population 50% .

Indonesia total population in 1970 12% and 1980 to 2020 had grew and in 2020 total population 50%, between 2030 and 2040 will be have increase and total population 60%. Thailand in 1970 total population 18% and 1970 to 1990 slighlty and population 25%, in 2000 to 2020 remanied the same and population 30%, and in future it will be increase 2030 to 2040 and population 45%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to cover the main trends in the four countries, mentioning Malaysia, the Philippines, Indonesia, and Thailand. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and interpretation. For instance, the student states that the population of the Philippines was 35% in 2020, whereas the chart shows it was around 45.5%. Similarly, the data points are often fragmented and confusingly expressed as "total population 30% in malaysia" instead of describing the percentage of the population living in cities. While an overview is attempted at the beginning, the lack of accurate data reporting and the confusing delivery prevent the response from achieving a higher score. It satisfies the basic requirements of addressing the prompt, but the execution remains weak across multiple countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are severely disrupted by poor sentence construction and lack of cohesion. The student attempts to group countries into paragraphs, but sentences within paragraphs are awkwardly linked or run together without clear cohesive devices. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the mechanical repetition of phrases such as "total population" impedes smooth reading. There is no clear sense of progression or logical flow from one sentence to the next, making the response difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical range is very limited and repetitive. The student repeatedly uses phrases like "total population" incorrectly to mean the percentage of urban dwellers, and overuses basic verbs such as "increase", "grew", and "had happened". There are frequent word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as "population 40% had happend increased". While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic topic of urban percentages, the numerous lexical inaccuracies and lack of precision restrict the score to this band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The writing contains numerous severe errors in tense usage, sentence structure, and word forms, such as "It can be seeen that, the graph illustrates..." and "between 2030 and 2040 will be have increase". Simple sentences are frequently malformed, and attempts at complex or compound structures result in broken syntax and ungrammatical clauses. Punctuation is also faulty, with misplaced commas and run-on sentences. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.