Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in Phillippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia over the period from 1970 to 2040.

Overall, Malaysia and Indonesia showed upward trend, while Phillippines and Thailand fluctuated throughout the period. By the end of the period, Malaysia recorded the highest figure.

At the beginning of the period, Malaysia stood at approximately 30% of population living in the city, followed by Indonesia at 12% of citizens living in the city. Malaysia then increased sharply to 60% of population in 2000, while, Indonesia also rose, reaching 30% of population. After this, Malaysia continued to increase, where as Indonesia also increased steadily and stood in second place.

Turning to the other figures, Phillippines started at around 30% of population and experienced fluctuations throughout the period. Meanwhile, Thailand followed a similar pattern, fluctuate from 25% to 30% and from then it showed an upward trend at the end of the period. By the final year, Malaysia was the highest figure, whereas Thailand was the lowest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by selecting and reporting on the four countries over the given time frame. An overview is attempted, noting upward trends and fluctuations, though it contains some inaccuracies, as the Philippines actually experienced an overall increase by 2040 rather than purely fluctuating throughout. Key features are presented, such as Malaysia recording the highest figure by the end of the period. However, some ideas remain under-developed or are insufficiently supported with specific data points. For instance, the descriptions of Indonesia and Thailand lack precise peak or final figures in places, which prevents the response from moving into higher score bands. Ensuring all major trends are supported with accurate data from the graph would strengthen this section.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The writing demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from an introduction to an overview, body paragraphs detailing specific data, and concluding comparisons. Paragraphing is used adequately to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. However, cohesion is occasionally faulty or mechanical. Words like 'where as' (which should be 'whereas') and repetitive sentence starters create a slightly mechanical flow. Referencing is generally clear, but transitional links between sentences could be more varied and flexible. To achieve a higher level, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices naturally and ensure that all linking words are punctuated and used correctly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response employs an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms such as 'illustrates', 'upward trend', 'fluctuated', and 'sharp increase'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, but with some inaccuracy. There are noticeable spelling errors, such as 'Phillippines' (spelled with a double 'l' throughout), and occasional awkward word choices, such as 'stood at approximately 30% of population living in the city' rather than 'percentage of the population'. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they restrict the score. To improve, the writer should focus on accurate spelling of country names, precise collocations related to statistical trends, and avoiding repetitive phrases like 'population living in the city'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating structures such as 'While Malaysia and Indonesia showed upward trend, while Phillippines...' (which contains a double-conjunction error). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('stood at approximately 30% of population' instead of '30% of the population') and tense inconsistencies. However, these errors rarely impede overall communication. The writer demonstrates control over basic sentence patterns, but attempts at more complex structures frequently result in minor errors. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to eliminate basic article omissions, ensure proper subject-verb agreement, and avoid redundant conjunctions in complex sentences.

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