Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustras the parcentage of the population living in Phillippines,Malaysia,Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 and 2020 also predicts from 2030 to 2040.

Overall,the highest population over the time would be in Malaysia ,while the lowest population would be in Thailand.

in the year of 1970 the population of Malaysia was only 30% which gradually go up to around 45% in 1990 but after that it dramatically climbed almost 80% in 2020 and in next 20 years it will reach up to 90%.afterwards in Phillipines the population started from over 30% which remain almost the same for next 10 years after that it go up to around 50%.after that it drops and could be increase in future.

Thailand population starts from around 20 % and always stayed in the lowest position. it slightly inncreased and reached around 30% in the 2020,and it will reach below 50% as prediction. On the other hand the last country among 4 of them Indonesia starts only from around 10% then dramatically goes up and reachedalmost 50% in 2020 and by prediction it will reach to 60% in next 20 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response attempts to cover all parts of the prompt by presenting information about the four countries from the graph, yet some key features and comparisons are under-developed or imprecise. For instance, the writer outlines the general trends for Malaysia and Indonesia adequately, but the overview is overly simplistic, stating only that Malaysia would have the highest population and Thailand the lowest, without capturing the overarching dynamics of urbanisation across the period. Furthermore, some data points are generalised rather than accurately reported, such as claiming Malaysia will reach 90% in the next 20 years when the chart shows approximately 83.5% by 2040, and the description of the Philippines lacks clarity regarding its fluctuation between 1990 and 2020. To reach the next band, the response needs to select and highlight clearer key comparisons and ensure all data trends are reported with greater precision and full development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement and attempts to organise information by country, grouping details into discernible paragraphs. However, the progression is sometimes difficult to follow due to poor formatting and a lack of clear cohesive devices. The second and third paragraphs are combined awkwardly without appropriate transitional markers, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the transition from Malaysia to the Philippines in the third paragraph. Cohesive devices are used rather repetitively or inaccurately, and punctuation is largely neglected—notably with missing spaces after commas and periods throughout the text. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should ensure distinct paragraphs are used for each main feature or grouping, employ a wider and more accurate range of linking words, and apply standard punctuation rules to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The student attempts some less common lexical items related to trends, such as 'dramatically climbed' and 'slightly inncreased', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in spelling, word form, and word choice. There are frequent spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'illustras', 'parcentage', and 'inncreased', as well as awkward phrasing like 'the highest population' instead of 'the highest urban population percentage'. Word choices are often repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'starts', 'goes up', and 'reached'. These errors and limitations create some difficulty for the reader and prevent the lexical range from rising to a higher band. To achieve a stronger band, the writer must expand their vocabulary to include precise reporting language and eliminate basic spelling and word-formation errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions or relative clauses, and attempts at more complex structures are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles—for example, mixing past and future timeframes inconsistently ('the population of Malaysia was only 30%... it will reach up to 90%') and omitting necessary articles before country names or dates ('in the year of 1970'). Sentences such as 'after that it drops and could be increase in future' demonstrate a lack of control over auxiliary verbs and grammatical patterns. These frequent errors cause strain and difficulty for the reader. To move up a band, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex sentence forms and maintain consistent, accurate tense control when describing past data and future predictions.

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