Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph depicts the information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 & 2040.
In general, Malaysia will at top in the year 2040 & the Indonesia was at the botttom of the graph in 1970. Like wise the Philippines has several changes over the year. But the Thailand climbed up continously from the year 1970 t 2020 & the predictions will in that form where it make big changes till 2040.
The percentage of the population of phillippines living in cities was changable over the period of time. In 1970 malaysia & phillippines hold the same percentage which is 30. like that the Malaysia soar at 90 percentage in 2040. Where Indonesia climbed up from 12 percentage to 58 percentage between the year 1970 to 2040.
There was a lots of changes over a period of time in that countries. Malaysia has the top percentage among the four asian countries in 2040 will be 90 percentage. Thailand also soaring from 19 percentage to 42 percenatge.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting on the given graph, providing an overview and mentioning several data points. However, the information presented contains notable inaccuracies regarding specific figures, such as claiming Malaysia reaches ninety percentage in 2040 (when it is approximately eighty-three point five) and misstating Indonesia's starting and ending points. The overview is somewhat confused, and while some main trends are touched upon, ideas remain limited and under-developed. To reach a higher level, the response needs to accurately report key data from the visual and provide a more fully developed, coherent summary of the main trends and comparisons without factual contradictions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text exhibits severe limitations in logical organization and overall progression. Information is grouped into very short, disjointed paragraphs that lack clear thematic focus. Cohesive devices are either missing or used inaccurately, as seen in awkward transitions like 'Like wise' and 'Where Indonesia climbed up'. Pronoun referencing and linking between sentences are weak, causing the flow of ideas to feel disjointed and difficult to follow. Improving this criterion requires structuring the writing into a clear introduction, overview, and well-organized body paragraphs, alongside accurate and varied cohesive links to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form. For instance, words like 'botttom', 'continously', 'changable', and 'soar' demonstrate mechanical or spelling issues, while phrases such as 'made big changes' are informal and imprecise. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and incorrect forms cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student should expand their range of vocabulary, use more precise academic terms to describe trends, and carefully check spelling and word forms before finalizing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic combinations with frequent errors. There are frequent issues with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'Malaysia will at top', 'the Indonesia was at the botttom', and 'Where Indonesia climbed up from 12 percentage to 58 percentage between the year 1970 to 2040'. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader and obscure meaning. To progress, the writer must practice incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence forms accurately, paying close attention to auxiliary verbs, tense consistency across past data and future predictions, and correct prepositional usage.
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