Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

As given in line graph there are four asian countries according to the graph in 1970 about 31 percent of population was living in cities in philippines as compare to others malaysia was on 30 percent,thailand was on 19 percent,indonesia was about 15 percent.in 1980 philliphines and thailand percentage living in cities was alike as in 1970 just a little difference although we had seen a rise in percentage of other countries malaysia reach 40 percent,thailand 22 percent.but in 1990 philliphines rise up and the percentage leads to 49 percent and malaysia increase to 43 percent and thailand to 26 percent moreover indonesia to 20 percent although philiphine seems to decline thier percentage till 2010 while other continue thier pace and reach the percentage of 70,50,40 percent on this period indonesia intersects phillippines and thailand although from 2010 onwards all four countries seen rise in thier percentage till 2040 with phillippines having 50 percent,malaysia having 80 percent malaysia and thailand having 50,40 percent population living in the cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt by reporting data from the line graph, but it only partially covers the requirements. While some key trends and figures are mentioned, the selection of data is confused and lacks clarity. For instance, the discussion of the years 1980 and 1990 contains jumbled numbers and inaccurate comparisons that do not accurately reflect the visual data. Furthermore, the overview of the main trends is largely missing, and the conclusion contains confused statistics, such as claiming Malaysia and Thailand had specific populations that do not match the final years. To move to a higher band, the response must clearly select and report the most striking main features, present a clear overview of overall trends, and maintain factual accuracy regarding the data presented in the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response suffers from significant issues with overall progression and logical arrangement. The text is presented as a single, massive block of text without proper paragraphing, making it very difficult to follow the chronological development of the data. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, relying heavily on run-on sentences and basic connectors like 'although' and 'and' to string clauses together without proper punctuation. Reference words are frequently unclear, leaving the reader confused about which country or year is being discussed. To improve cohesion, the writer must divide the response into clear paragraphs, such as an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for specific comparisons, while using appropriate and varied cohesive devices to structure the information logically.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, utilizing words like 'percentage', 'population', 'living', and 'cities' excessively. There are noticeable lexical limitations and word choice errors, such as 'philliphines' (spelling), 'thier' (spelling), and awkward phrases like 'philliphines rise up and the percentage leads to'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to trends, inaccuracies in word form and collocation impede smooth communication. To achieve a higher lexical score, the student should expand their range of vocabulary by incorporating synonyms and less common items naturally, ensuring correct spelling, word formation, and precise collocations when describing upward and downward trends in graphical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting primarily of long, run-on simple sentences joined incorrectly by conjunctions or commas. There is a complete lack of proper sentence boundaries and capitalization, as many sentences begin mid-way without capital letters or end without periods. Frequent grammatical errors occur in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'malaysia was on 30 percent' instead of 'at 30 percent' and 'all four countries seen rise' instead of 'saw a rise'. These frequent errors frequently strain the reader's understanding. To improve this criterion, the writer must practice using accurate simple and complex sentence forms, ensure correct tense usage for past data and future predictions, and apply standard punctuation rules, particularly regarding full stops and capital letters.

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