Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in four distinct countries of Asia living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with forecasts for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, Malaysia and Indonesia experienced similar pattern and remained the highest with prediction surpassing two other countries. whereas, philippines experienced considerable volatility, following by Thailand which remained the lowest among all other countries.
In 1970, Indonesia holds the least proportion of people comprised of just over 10%, following by Thailand, total population of this country was around 19%. Over the past two decades both countries experienced the gradual increase for Thailand the total number of population was approximately 30%. In contrast population of indonesia was still lower comprising of around 22%. Although, the population of Thailand stayed relatively same by 2020. Meanwhile, Indonesian population soared to a peak of around 50% making it the second largest country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, finishing short at 145 words. Furthermore, the task is only addressed in a minimal and partial way. While the writer attempts to provide an overview and mention some countries, the selection of data is inaccurate and confused. For instance, the overview incorrectly claims that Malaysia and Indonesia experienced a similar pattern and remained the highest with predictions surpassing other countries, when in fact Malaysia finished well above Indonesia by 2040. The body paragraphs contain significant data misinterpretations, such as stating that Indonesia held the least proportion of people in 1970 when the figure was actually 14% while Thailand was lower at 18%, and describing trends with confusing or contradictory figures. Ideas are severely limited and under-developed, preventing the response from achieving a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is some attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph, but information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent progression. The overview paragraph is grammatically disjointed and fails to properly introduce the main trends, relying on awkward sentence splitting with 'whereas,' starting a new sentence incorrectly. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes used inaccurately or mechanically, such as 'In contrast population of indonesia was still lower' and 'Although, the population of Thailand stayed relatively same by 2020,' which disrupt the logical flow between sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but the body of the essay breaks off abruptly after just one main development, leaving the overall structure incomplete and lacking clear logical progression throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, containing noticeable errors that reflect a basic range. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, inappropriate word choice, and collocation issues, such as 'experienced similar pattern', 'following by Thailand', and 'gradual increase'. Word form and spelling errors also appear, including lower-case country names like 'philippines' and 'indonesia'. While the writer attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'proportion', 'volatility', and 'soared', these are often mishandled or accompanied by inaccuracies. The lexical control is weak, and basic repetitive vocabulary restricts the quality of the response, meaning the reader occasionally has to work harder to understand the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple or faulted complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors in tense usage, article omission, prepositions, and punctuation that impede communication. Examples include 'Indonesia holds the least proportion' (incorrect tense shift in past-tense narrative), 'total population of this country was around 19%' (comma splice/run-on structure), and 'for Thailand the total number of population was approximately 30%' (missing prepositions and articles). Punctuation is also problematic, notably with the stray period and comma placement in 'whereas, philippines experienced'. Attempts at complex sentences are consistently flawed, leading to frequent errors that cause noticeable difficulty for the reader throughout.
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