Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the population of living cities in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia between 1970 to 2020. With predictions of population within 2030 and 2040. Statstics are measured in percentage.
Overall, Malaysia is consider the top-tier country with massive population, followed by Indonesia with a noticeable differents in population compared with Malaysia. Otherwise Philippines population is almost near to Thailand, but Thailand occupy the last place.
According to statstic through time, Malaysia have a noticeable growth in population which increased from 30% to 70%, and within 2030 and 2040 it may reach more than 80%. moreover Philippines have a negative develpo in population, but predictions says i may reach a percentage of 60% withn 2030 and 2040.
In addition to that, Thailand have a great path for population increase within time and with prediction it may reach more than 30%. moreover Indonesia also have a very noticeable growth in population, In 2020 it will be 50% and withn 2030 and 2040 it will reach more than 55%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the task partially by attempting to cover the main trends in the four countries from 1970 to 2040. However, the data points selected are often inaccurate or poorly reported. For instance, the writer states that Malaysia's population increased from '30% to 70%' when the graph shows it reached 76% in 2020 and is projected to go higher, and states that Indonesia's 2020 figure is 50% when the grid shows 52%. Furthermore, the overview is somewhat confused, referring to the percentage of the urban population as 'massive population' instead of urbanisation rates, which misinterprets the data. To reach a higher level, the response needs to accurately report figures from the chart, avoid confusing absolute population numbers with percentage shares, and provide a clearer overview of the main overall trends without inaccurate generalisations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, showing some basic organization, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the frequent use of 'moreover' and 'in addition to that' to start new points, which creates a mechanical feel. Referencing is also weak, as seen in phrases like 'Statstics are measured in percentage' standing alone without clear linkage to the surrounding text. The logical relationship between paragraphs is underdeveloped, and the transitions between past data and future predictions feel abrupt. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally, ensure clear referencing throughout, and structure the paragraphs so that each focuses on a distinct, logically ordered aspect of the visual data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Vocabulary use is limited and displays noticeable errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader. There are spelling mistakes like 'Statstics' and 'develpo', and non-standard collocations or word forms such as 'population of living cities' instead of 'percentage of the population living in cities' and 'a noticeable differents' instead of 'difference'. The range of vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple terms like 'growth', 'population', and 'increase'. Attempts to use less-common items fail due to inaccurate word choice. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire, learn correct word forms and spellings, and use precise vocabulary specifically suited to describing statistical trends and graph data, such as 'urbanisation rate' and 'projected to rise'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent errors. There are frequent issues with prepositions and tense usage, such as 'within 2030 and 2040' instead of 'between' or 'by', and mixing past tense descriptions with future predictions incorrectly ('Malaysia have a noticeable growth... and within 2030 and 2040 it may reach'). Additionally, subject-verb agreement errors occur regularly, such as 'Philippines have' and 'Thailand have'. Attempts at complex structures are often faulty, and punctuation errors can be found across the response. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic grammatical structures, maintain consistent and accurate tense use when describing trends over time, and reduce the frequency of basic agreement and preposition errors.
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