Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph compares the proportion of the population in four Asian countries(Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia) living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions between 2030 and 2040.

Overall, it is clearly seen that Malaysia recorded the highest proportion of the population as compare to other three cities, while the rate of philippines fluctuated over the following four decades.By contrast, Thailand and Indonesia had a significant change in the following years , where the population of indonesia increases dramatically throughout the period, overtaking philipines population in the future.Meanwhile, the population of thailand also climbed.

Initially, Philippines represented the dominant factor of population at 31% and peak at 50% in 1990, followed by a fluctuate through the period. Subsequently, Malaysia and philippines were similarly at the beginning starting from 1970, although it had rose from 30% to 90% in 2040. By contrast, Thailand

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, stopping at 135 words overall with 9 words copied directly from the prompt. Furthermore, the writing cuts off mid-sentence, leaving the final body paragraph incomplete. While there is an attempt to provide an overview and mention some countries, the information is only minimally and partially presented. Key features such as the overall trajectories of Malaysia and Indonesia are not fully reported, and there are inaccuracies in the data cited, such as stating Philippines started at 31% and peaked at 50% in 1990 when the chart shows it differently. To achieve a higher band, the writer must ensure the full word count is met, complete all sentences, and report the key data points accurately without cutting off abruptly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of the response is very weak, with information presented in a disjointed and incomplete manner. Although an initial overview is attempted, it is poorly executed, referring incorrectly to 'cities' instead of countries and containing confusing phrasing. Paragraphing is not properly sustained because the text breaks off prematurely in the third paragraph, leaving thoughts unfinished. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the excessive use of 'By contrast'. Reference pronouns are sometimes unclear, and the lack of a complete final paragraph disrupts the logical progression of the text. Improving this criterion requires structuring ideas into clear, complete paragraphs with logical transitions and a well-developed conclusion or summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Vocabulary use is limited and basic, with noticeable errors that occasionally impede communication. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', and 'dramatically', but these are often paired with inaccurate word choices or awkward collocations, such as referring to countries as 'cities' ('other three cities') and confusing country names with common nouns ('philipines population'). There are also capitalization errors for proper nouns throughout the text. To improve lexical resource, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary, ensure correct word forms and spelling for proper nouns, and select terms that precisely match the visual data presented in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is severely restricted, relying on simple structures mixed with faulty complex sentences. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'the rate of philippines fluctuated' and 'population of indonesia increases' shifting incorrectly in tense. Punctuation and capitalization are poorly controlled, particularly with proper nouns and sentence boundaries. Because the text is truncated mid-sentence, complex grammatical patterns cannot be fully demonstrated. To move to a higher band, the writer must use a wider variety of sentence structures accurately, maintain consistent and correct tense usage throughout the description of historical and predicted data, and eliminate frequent basic grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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