Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares the percentage of population living in cities across four Asian countries between [redacted phone] along with predictions for the upcoming years 2030 and 2040 respectively.
While the percentage has either remained equal or increased in majority of the countries except in Philippines the population started at the lowest of 31% in 1970 which sharply increased to 50%in 1990 ,however it can be observed that the percentage declined to 41% in the next two concecutive years,which can be predicted to rise upto 51% by the year 2040.
In the Meanwhile the population percentage in Indonesia,Thailand and Malaysia was observed to be 12%,19%and 30% respectively and inclined gradually each year.
Furthermore the expected population of Malaysia for the year 2040 is the highest reaching upto 81% which is above all the other countries.This trend is followed by Indonesia at 60%,Philippines 51% and Thailand with the least increase in the population percentage of 42%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response covers some parts of the task by attempting to report data for the four countries, but it presents a limited and partially inaccurate overview. Some of the data points and trends are misreported or confused; for instance, the text claims that the percentage 'declined to 41% in the next two consecutive years' for the Philippines and provides incorrect starting points for other countries. The overall summary lacks clarity, and the conclusions regarding the 2040 projections contain inaccurate figures that do not correctly reflect the visual data. To reach a higher level, the response needs to select and accurately report key features, ensuring all cited figures align properly with the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some organisation in the structure of the essay, attempting an introduction, body details, and a conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression due to confusing sequencing and referencing issues. Cohesive devices are used rather mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as 'In the Meanwhile' and 'Furthermore'. Paragraphing is attempted, but sentences often run together without adequate logical links, making the flow somewhat disjointed. To improve, the writer should focus on creating a logical sequence of ideas with clearer transitions between countries and time periods, and ensure referencing is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common phrasing, such as 'sharply increased' and 'inclined gradually', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, such as 'concecutive' and punctuation slips. There are also instances where specific terms are misused in context. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary, use more precise collocations to describe trends, and eliminate spelling and word-form errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on basic patterns with frequent errors in complex structures. There are noticeable issues with punctuation, run-on sentences, missing commas, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'except in Philippines' lacking an article. Frequent errors in verb tense consistency and clause linking cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should aim to produce a better mix of simple and complex sentences with fewer grammatical errors, paying closer attention to punctuation, articles, and sentence boundaries.
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