Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph tracks the change in percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, the most prominrnt trend is an upward trajectory in malaysia & Philippines. Whereas Indonesia & Thailand displayed the opposite pattern. By the end of the period, Malaysia surpassed all over countries.

Looking at the figures in more detail, Malaysia began at 30% in 1970 & grew steadily to 60% in 2000. Whereas Thailand & Indonesia started slightly rise from the first year i.e. 1970. Following a temporary plateau, Malaysia peaked above all countries at 2040 & reached around 82%.

On the other hand, Philippines experienced a sharp drop from 50% at 1990 to a low of 40% in 2010. Therefore, at the ending year all countries reached their peakx

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the topic and include a brief overview, noting Malaysia’s rise and its eventual lead. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: Indonesia and Thailand did not show an opposite pattern; both increased overall. The claim that all countries reached their peaks at the end is also incorrect, since the Philippines peaked around 1990 before declining and recovering. Several key trends are omitted, especially Indonesia’s strong growth and Thailand’s gradual rise, and the final sentence is incomplete. The response contains 117 words, below the required 150, so the account is too limited to report and compare the main features adequately. Develop the overview and support it with accurate comparisons across all four countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph with some details. Basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Whereas,” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is uneven: the detail paragraph moves from Malaysia to Thailand and Indonesia, then back to the Philippines, without completing a clear comparison. “Whereas” is used as a sentence opener without a complete contrasting clause, and “Therefore” does not logically connect the Philippines’ earlier decline to the claim about all countries’ peaks. The ending is unfinished. Grouping countries by trend and using complete, clearly linked comparisons would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “upward trajectory,” “grew steadily,” “temporary plateau,” and “sharp drop,” which helps describe changes rather than merely list figures. The range is adequate for a short response, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward: “the opposite pattern” misrepresents the trends, “all over countries” is not the intended phrase, and “started slightly rise” is an unnatural collocation. There are also spelling and form errors, including “prominrnt” and “peakx,” and inconsistent capitalisation of “Malaysia” and “Philippines.” Aim for precise, conventional chart language and check spelling and country names carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the opening sentence communicates the chart’s subject and time span clearly. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in sentences beginning with “Whereas”: “Whereas Indonesia & Thailand displayed the opposite pattern” is a fragment, as is “Whereas Thailand & Indonesia started slightly rise from the first year.” The latter also has an incorrect verb pattern. The final sentence, “Therefore, at the ending year all countries reached their peakx,” is incomplete in meaning and has faulty phrasing. Use complete clauses, for example, join a contrast with the preceding sentence, and check verb forms and sentence endings. These recurring problems limit accuracy despite some clear sentences.

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