Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The presented line graph displays the figures of population in four different asian countries living in rural areas over the years from 1070 to 2020 with the anticipation for next two decades.

overall, it can be witnessed that all the countries showed several fluctuations and they are expected to increase in the future

To begin with, it can be seen that by 1970 the population of Malaysia in cities was 30%. it soared to around 50% in 1990, after that it experienced dicline and in 2010 it,s proportion was around 45%.however it is predicted to increase in upcoming years to 55%. Similarly indonesia started with 12% which was lowest amongs all in 1070 and it climped to 25% in 1990. futhermore, it continue to increase till 2000. while. after it climped up dramatically and reached to 50% in 2020. but it is considered to be rose for next decade.

Secondly, Philippines's number were 31 % in the starting year and it remain constant for the next 10 years. However, in 2010 was standing on 42 % before it experienced huge increase in 1990, where it touched to 50%. following this, it is

looked to be rose in future. Moreover, Thiland begin with 20% in 1970 and this figure improved to 28 in 1990. after that it undergo fluctuations and it is predicted to reach around 50% in upcomping years

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to describe all four countries and includes some relevant figures, such as Malaysia at about 30% in 1970 and Indonesia rising to around 50% by 2020. However, the task is only minimally addressed because the opening misidentifies the data as rural population and gives the starting year as 1070. Several key trends are confused: the rise to about 48% in 1990 and subsequent dip belong to the Philippines, not Malaysia, and the Philippines’ 1990 figure is reported inaccurately as 50%. The overview is also too general and incorrectly says all countries fluctuated; Thailand and Indonesia mostly rose. Future projections are incomplete or vague. Focus on accurate country-by-country trends and give a clear overview of the main contrasts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: an introduction and overview are followed by two body paragraphs, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “Secondly” signal a sequence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first paragraph groups Malaysia and Indonesia while the second shifts between the Philippines’ 2010 and 1990 figures in the wrong order. Connectors including “However,” “Furthermore,” and “but” are often used mechanically or without a clear relationship, and sentence boundaries are frequently unclear. For example, “while. after it climped up dramatically” interrupts the flow. Group the countries or trends consistently, order information chronologically, and use linking words only where they clarify the relationship between points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “predicted,” “fluctuations,” and “dramatically,” and the reader can generally identify the intended topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “figures of population,” “anticipation for next two decades,” and “it is considered to be rose.” Spelling errors—including “dicline,” “climped,” “futhermore,” and “Thiland”—are noticeable and reduce precision. Repetition of “increase,” “reach,” and “population” also limits flexibility. Practise accurate terms for describing urbanisation and trends, and check spelling and natural collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, for example, “Similarly Indonesia started with 12% which was lowest amongs all…” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, and sentence construction make parts difficult to read. Examples include “it continue to increase,” “Philippines's number were,” and “it remain constant.” Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “overall” and the run-on sequence “45%.however it is predicted…”. Use past tense consistently for historical data, form complete sentences, and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation. More accurate control of these basics would make the information clearer.

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