Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the proportionn of population living in four Asian cities Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia form 1970 to 2040..

Overall, the population in four countires growing significantly over the period. Malaysia showed the highest growing rate in terms of population. The Thailand figure was considerably the lowest among all of them.

In 1970, the population of Malaysia begin with 30%, it gradually increasing throughout the perod 41% in 1990 and sharply rose to 6% in 2000. It climbed to 70% in 2020 and reached at his peak position around 80% in 2040. In contrast, Philippines represented the opposite trend it begin roughly 31% in 1970 and in 1990 sharply rose to nearly 50%. It faced little flucation and dropped to 40% in 2010 over the period iit rose to aroud 51% in 2040.

Thailand population begin 14% in 1970 and continuesly increasing to 30% in 2020 and increased sharply to approxemitely 50% in 2040. Similaraly, Indonesia population stands around 11% in 1970, acrossn the period its popultion increased to 40% in 2010 and reach at second highest position in terms of population 60% in 2024.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the overall upward movement and note that Malaysia finishes highest, while Thailand remains comparatively low. You also include several figures and comparisons, so the response is relevant to the graph. However, coverage is partial and some key details are inaccurate: Malaysia rises to about 60%, not 6%, in 2000; Thailand is about 33.5% in 2020, not 30% at that point after starting at roughly 18% in 1970; and Indonesia reaches about 52% in 2020 and 64% in 2040, not 60% in 2024. The overview also calls Thailand the lowest without clarifying that Indonesia starts lower. Select the main trends accurately and compare the countries across the full period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs discussing the series. Connectors such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Similaraly” show an attempt to guide the reader through comparisons. However, progression is uneven: the Malaysia paragraph contains a major figure error, and the final sentence ends with an incorrect year, making the account difficult to follow. Some references are also unclear, such as “the population” when you mean the proportion living in cities. Improve the sequence by grouping the main trends, then comparing starting and ending figures, and use linking phrases accurately rather than relying on them to compensate for unclear information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant language, including “proportion,” “gradually,” “sharply rose,” “fluctuation,” and “in contrast,” which helps describe trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate enough to distract the reader. For example, “highest growing rate” is not a natural way to describe the series, and “peak position” is awkward for a final value. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “proportionn,” “countires,” “perod,” and “flucation.” Use precise terms for urban population shares and practise spelling common trend vocabulary. More accurate collocations would make the comparisons clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including comparisons introduced by “In contrast,” and clauses describing changes over time. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “Malaysia begin with 30%,” “it gradually increasing,” and “it begin roughly 31%,” where verb forms and tense are not controlled. The sentence “Thailand population begin 14%” also lacks the possessive form and a suitable verb pattern. Punctuation is uneven, with a doubled full stop in the opening and a long final sentence that is hard to parse. Practise past-tense reporting and sentence patterns such as “the figure stood at” and “it rose to.”

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