Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given picture displays the line graph about the percentage of the population living in cities of four asian countries from 1970 to 2020 additionally, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. X-axis represents the year from 1970 to 2040. Whereas, Y-axis depicts the percentage of total population from o to 90.

To commence with Indonesia the population was 14% in 1970 and by the year 2040 it got increased by 60% of total population. Additionally, Thailand population was 4% higther than Indonesia's which is 18% in the year 1970 the grapgh got fluctuated by the year 1990 to 2020 then there have been recorded upward directionj and reached at 45% by 2040.

Furthermore, Malaysia's population was started from 30% and there was a huge upward fluctuation and reached till 88% by the year 2040. Moreover, Philippines population was 1% higher than malaysia by thge year 1970 that is 31% and there was a heavy fluctuation recorded between 1970 to 2010 after that i was in a constant upward direction which was reached at 55% by the 2040.

Overall, It is clear from all the perspective that the higest population was living in Malaysia by the 2040 that is 88% and Thailand recoreded very low percentage of population that is 45% by thge year 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the graph’s subject and cover all four countries, with relevant starting and ending figures and an overall comparison. However, several figures are inaccurate: Malaysia is projected to reach about 84%, not 88%; the Philippines starts at 32%, not 31%; and Thailand reaches about 50%, rather than 45%. Indonesia is described as rising to 60%, although the chart shows about 64% in 2040. The overview also misses a key feature: Malaysia is highest by the end, while Indonesia shows the strongest sustained rise, overtaking the Philippines. Your account of the Philippines’ fluctuations is relevant but not precise, and the trends are not consistently supported with accurate data. Select the main comparisons and check each reported figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs describing groups of countries, and a concluding overview. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “Overall” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and some transitions feel mechanical. For example, “To commence with Indonesia” is followed by Thailand, while the relationship between the two countries’ trends is not clearly explained. The overview repeats the ending figures rather than synthesising the main patterns, and “Whereas” begins a fragment rather than connecting two complete ideas. Organise the body around clear comparisons—for example, the countries with higher urban shares versus those with lower shares—and use referencing and linking words to show how the figures relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “predictions,” “fluctuation,” and “upward direction,” so the reader can generally understand the topic. However, the range is limited and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “population was started from 30%,” “reached till 88%,” and “heavy fluctuation.” Repeated use of “population” also makes the descriptions less precise; the graph measures the share of people living in cities. Spelling errors—including “higther,” “grapgh,” “thge,” and “higest”—are noticeable and weaken clarity. Aim for accurate trend language and collocations, such as “the proportion rose,” “increased steadily,” or “fluctuated before recovering.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise terms for the data will make your descriptions more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “which” and “after that,” but control is inconsistent. Several sentences have faulty structures: “Whereas, Y-axis depicts…” is a fragment, and “there was a huge upward fluctuation and reached till 88%” shifts awkwardly between a noun phrase and a verb. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and tense, as in “Philippines population was started” and “there have been recorded upward direction.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly in the long opening sentence and the final overview. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use consistent past-tense descriptions for historical data and future forms for projections.

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