Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATE THE PERCENTAGE OF THE POPULATION IN FOUR DIFFERENT ASIAN COUNTIES SUCH AS PHILLIPPINES, MALAYSIA, THAILAND, INDONESIA, LIVING IN CITIES FROM 1970 TO 2020, AND DID PREDICTION FOR 2030 AND 2040.

OVERALL, THE POPULATION OF ALL FOUR COUNTRIES FLUCTUATED THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD. IN THE STARTING PHASE, PHILLIPPINES HAD THE HIGHEST POPULATION LIVING IN CITIES, WHILE INDONESIA HAD THE LOWEST POPULATION. HOWEVER, MALAYSIA HAD THE HIGHEST POPULATION LIVING IN CITIES AT THE END OF PERIOD.

TO BEGIN WITH, AROUND 31% OF TOTAL POPULATION LIVED IN CITIES IN PHILLIPPINES IN 1970 AND PREDICTED THE PROPORTION WILL REACH AROUND 54% TILL 2040. IN ADDITION, IN MALAYSIA, 30% OF POPULATION LIVED IN CITIES IN 1970 AND ASSUMED THAT PERCENTAGE INCREASE TO AROUND 83% IN 2040. THAILAND HAD 19% OF POPULATION, WHO LIVED IN URBAN AREAS, AND PREDICTED THE NUMBER RECAH AROUND 45% IN 2040. INDONESIA HAD AROUND 12% OF POPULATION WHO LIVED IN CITIES AND ASSUMED THAT THE PROPORTION INCRREASE TO AROUND 60 TILL 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the graph’s subject and give a relevant overview: the Philippines starts highest, Indonesia lowest, and Malaysia finishes highest. You also report approximate starting and projected 2040 figures for all four countries, which provides useful coverage. However, the overview says all four countries “fluctuated,” although Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia generally rise; the Philippines is the clearest series to fluctuate. The response also focuses almost entirely on the endpoints, leaving important changes and comparisons within 1970–2020 underdeveloped—for example, Malaysia’s strong rise and Indonesia’s marked growth, including its move above the Philippines by 2020. Develop these key trends and check that each summary figure matches the graph more closely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph. Its progression from the general picture to country-by-country figures is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “Overall,” “However” and “In addition” help signal relationships. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, though, because the final paragraph lists each country in a similar sentence pattern rather than grouping or comparing trends. The overview’s claim that all countries fluctuated also weakens the logical connection to the details, which mostly describe increases. To make the progression more effective, group countries with similar patterns and use comparisons such as Malaysia’s higher projected level versus Thailand’s slower rise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “percentage,” “population,” “cities,” “proportion” and “urban areas,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There is some variation in how you refer to the data, but several choices are inaccurate or repetitive: “population” is used where “proportion” or “share” is intended, and “predicted the number” is not a natural way to describe a percentage. Spelling errors such as “PHILLIPPINES,” “RECAH” and “INCRREASE” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise collocations used in graph descriptions, and check spelling carefully. More varied language for trends and comparisons would help you describe the data without repeatedly relying on “population” and “around.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including the overview contrast beginning “while” and the sentence starting “However,” but control is inconsistent. The opening sentence has subject–verb disagreement (“graph illustrate”) and an awkward construction around “and did prediction.” Several later clauses are also faulty, as in “predicted the proportion will reach” and “assumed that percentage increase”; these need a clear subject and an appropriate verb form, such as “the proportion is projected to reach” or “is expected to increase.” Articles and sentence structure also need attention in phrases such as “at the end of period.” These errors recur and sometimes make relationships between the data and predictions unclear. Practise accurate reporting structures alongside simpler, reliable sentences.

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