Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A graph showing the percentage of population living in cities in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2040. If we further describe this graph and compare some of the countries which are visible in this graph we can see that the Malaysia is a country which have more population as compare to these three countries whereas the Thailand have very less population as compare to all these countries. If we talk about Philippines and Indonesia the graph is clearly showing that the population of Indonesia is increasing then Philippines and Thailand whereas the population of Philippines is decreasing even it was more then Thailand and Indonesia before. This graph is clearly showing that from 2030 to 2040 the population of Malaysia and Indonesia have been rapidly increases even from 1970 to 2020 they all four were corresponding to each other but now the Malaysia have the largest population of all these.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the countries and makes a few relevant comparisons, including Malaysia’s high urban share and Indonesia’s rise relative to the Philippines. However, it does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main trends across the period. The claim that Thailand has the lowest population throughout is not supported: by 2040, the Philippines is higher than Thailand, and the graph measures the urban share, not total population. The statement that all four countries were “corresponding to each other” from 1970 to 2020 is also vague and misleading. To make the summary more complete, report the contrasting trajectories: Malaysia rises strongly, Indonesia catches up and overtakes the Philippines, while the Philippines fluctuates before recovering.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response around comparisons, using phrases such as “If we talk about Philippines and Indonesia” and “This graph is clearly showing.” However, the ideas are not arranged in a clear progression from an overview to selected details, and several comparisons are difficult to follow. For example, the sentence beginning “If we further describe this graph” combines the introduction, a comparison, and an unclear claim about population. Repeated references to “this graph” and repeated conditional openings make the linking mechanical rather than helpful. A clearer structure would use separate paragraphs for the overall trends and for key country comparisons, with precise links such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small range of relevant terms, including “percentage,” “increasing,” “decreasing,” and “largest,” so the general subject is understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are imprecise for describing this chart. “Population” is repeatedly used where “proportion of the population living in cities” or “urbanisation rate” is needed; the graph does not compare countries’ total population sizes. Phrases such as “more population as compare to” and “corresponding to each other” are also unnatural and make comparisons less clear. Build a more precise set of trend expressions, such as “rose steadily,” “fluctuated,” “overtook,” and “was projected to reach,” and use them to describe the urban percentages rather than population totals.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts longer sentences with clauses introduced by “whereas,” “even,” and “if,” but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “the Malaysia is a country which have,” where the article and subject–verb agreement are faulty, and “the population of Indonesia is increasing then Philippines,” which lacks a clear grammatical comparison. The final sentence also has a tense and agreement problem in “have been rapidly increases.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly in the long opening comparison. Practise accurate simple comparative sentences first, then combine them with clauses—for example, “Indonesia’s urban share rose, while the Philippines’ figure fluctuated.”

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