Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

according to this paragraph Philippines population is small increase in 1980 after this year population rapidly increasing its become 50% in 1990 and after this year population decrease constantly [redacted phone] is the last year when population is decrease but after this population is constantly increasing 2020, and also predictions like how population is increasing its goes to 60%

Malaysia according to this paragraph Malaysia is most increase population in all of this countries as you know see in diagram in 1970 population is 30% rapidly increasing 1980 its beome 40% and 1990 its become almost 50% the prediction in 2030to 20240 the population becomes 70-80% which is high population

Thailand according to this paragraph thailand also increasing the population but slowly as we know in 1970 its population is 20% and in 1980 its become almost 25 percent and in 2020 its become almost 30 percent as prediction 2030 to 2040 its population go to 50 percent

and the last is Indonesia according to this paragraph its has very small population in 1970 but its also increasing the population most rapidly 2030 to 2040 its population go to 50% to 60%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four countries and report the broad pattern that urbanisation generally rises, with Malaysia reaching the highest level and Thailand increasing more slowly. However, the account is only partially accurate and lacks a clear overview comparing the countries. For example, the Philippines reaches about 48% in 1990, not 50% exactly, then falls to around 42.5% in 2010 before rising; the response describes this as a constant decrease after 1990. Malaysia is about 83.5% by 2040, not 70–80%, while Indonesia reaches about 64%, rather than only 50–60%. Thailand is around 33.5% in 2020, not 30%. Select the main turning points and end values accurately, and summarise the overall ranking and changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is divided into separate sections for the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, so the reader can identify which country each section discusses. It also uses basic sequencing expressions such as “after this year” and “and the last is Indonesia.” However, the repeated opening “according to this paragraph” and the long, loosely connected sentences make the progression mechanical and difficult to follow. There is no distinct introduction or overview, and comparisons between countries are largely absent. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and grouped detail paragraphs. Use clear links to show contrasts, such as Malaysia’s high final figure compared with Thailand’s lower one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “population,” “increasing,” “decrease,” “prediction” and percentages, which allows the reader to recognise the topic and some trends. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “population is small increase,” “most increase population,” and “its population go to 50 percent.” The repeated use of “become” also limits the description of changes. Build a more varied set of accurate trend phrases, including “rose gradually,” “declined,” “recovered,” “was projected to reach,” and “accounted for.” Check spelling and word forms, for example “become” and “Thailand,” so that errors do not distract from the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example by using “after this year” and “as prediction,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns and show frequent grammatical errors. Problems with articles, agreement, tense and sentence construction appear in phrases such as “Philippines population is small increase,” “its become 50%,” and “its population go to 50 percent.” Punctuation is also limited, so several ideas run together and the intended relationships are unclear. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then combine them using accurate clauses. For example: “The Philippines’ urban population rose to about 48% in 1990, before falling to around 43% in 2010.”

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