Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of the population living in cities of 4 different Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Overall, Malaysia experienced the greatest rise in the percentage of population in the next five decades, while it is predicted that Malaysia will lead the proportion of the population in the next two decades.

To begin, in 1970, Malaysia and Philippines accounted for 30% and 32% of population respectively. These percentages were significantly higher than the proportions of Thailand and Indonesia whose percentage was just 18% and nearly 13% individually. However, in the next fifty years, the percentage of population in Malaysia and Indonesia rose stedily and became approximately 73% and 50% in 2020. The other two countries experienced fluctuation in the proportion of the population and became nearly 43% in Indonesia and 30% in Thailand.

However, in the next 2 decades, it is quite evident that Malaysia will lead the percentage of population and become the largest country in 2040 with over 80% of the total population, while Indonesia will become the second largest country holding 60% of the total population. Philippines and Thailand will experience gradual rise with nearly 53% and just over 45% of total population respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the overall upward trend and correctly note that Malaysia is projected to lead in 2040, with Indonesia also rising strongly. However, several figures and comparisons are inaccurate: in 2020 Malaysia is about 76%, not 73%, and Indonesia is about 52%, not 50%; Thailand is about 34%, not 30%. More importantly, you say the other two countries became “nearly 43% in Indonesia and 30% in Thailand,” although the earlier sentence identifies Indonesia as one of the steadily rising countries. The overview also repeats Malaysia’s lead rather than summarising the contrasting trajectories, such as the Philippines’ rise and subsequent dip before recovery. Report the main trends more precisely and distinguish all four series consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by historical figures and then forecasts. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. However, progression is weakened by the repeated “However” at the start of paragraphs and by unclear references in “The other two countries,” followed by “in Indonesia and…Thailand,” which conflicts with the preceding grouping. The overview also repeats the point that Malaysia will lead instead of setting out the main contrasts. Use clearer grouping by trend, and make each comparison explicit—for example, contrast Malaysia’s high level with Indonesia’s rapid growth and the Philippines’ fluctuation. More precise linking and referencing would make the organisation smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “predictions,” “fluctuation,” and “gradual rise,” and the meaning is generally clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Malaysia and Philippines accounted for” is not a natural way to describe percentages, while “largest country” incorrectly refers to the country rather than its urban population share. “Percentage of the population” is repeated often, and “rose stedily” contains a spelling error. Aim for more precise chart language and vary expressions for increases, levels, and proportions. For example, describe a country’s figure as “stood at” a percentage, and say that its urban share “was the highest,” rather than calling it the largest country.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while” and “whose,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. Articles and plurals are missing in phrases such as “of population” and “Philippines,” and the construction “whose percentage was just 18%” does not agree naturally with the plural countries. The sentence beginning “However, in the next fifty years” also creates a confusing comparison because its final figures assign Indonesia and Thailand values that do not match the earlier grouping. Use consistent plural forms and articles, and check that each clause clearly identifies its subject. Greater control of these sentence patterns would make the data easier to follow.

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