Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Percentage of the population living in cities of the four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020. With predictions for 2030 and 2040.

In the year 1970, the percentage of the total population living in Indonesia is about 12% , it increased to 13%, year 1990, the number increased to 30%.in the year 2000 and 2010, the percentage rapidly increased from 30% to 45%. Year 2020, 2030 and 2040, the percentage of the population increase from 50% to 60% and lastly, 60%.

In Thailand, the year 1970=12% population.

year1980=20% population.

year 1990=23% population

year 2000, 2010, 2020, 2030 and 2040 the population goese from 30%, 42% 50% , 60%and 61%

In Malaysia, year 1970 the population started from 30%

year 1980 = 40%

year1990 = 48%

year 2000 = 60%

year 2010 = 70%

year 2020 = 72%

year 2030 = 80%

year 2040 =82%

In Philippines, year 1970 = 32%

year 1980 =33%

year 1990 = 50%

year 2000 = 41%

year 2010 = 42%

lastly, year 2020, 2030 and 2040 it increased from 49%, 50% lastly 52%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to report all four countries and includes figures across the period, so it is relevant to the task. However, it mainly lists year-by-year data rather than selecting the main features, and it gives no clear overview of the overall patterns or key comparisons. Several figures are substantially inaccurate: for example, Indonesia is reported as 12% in 1970 and 13% in 1980, rather than about 14% and 17%; Thailand is described as reaching 61% in 2040, although it is about 50%; and the Philippines is said to reach 49% in 2020, rather than about 46%. To improve, summarise the main trends first and check each country’s figures against the graph before reporting them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is divided into separate sections for Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and the Philippines, which makes it possible to identify which country each set of figures concerns. However, the information is presented mostly as disconnected year-and-number statements, with little progression or comparison between countries. The opening repeats the chart title but does not introduce an overview, and transitions such as “In Thailand” and “In Malaysia” do not connect the trends into a coherent account. Some punctuation and spacing also make the sequence harder to follow. Grouping countries with similar patterns and using linking phrases to compare them would create clearer progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the basic subject and changes, using terms such as “percentage,” “population,” “increased” and “predictions.” However, the range is limited and repetitive, particularly through repeated use of “the population” and “increased.” Some choices are imprecise for describing a line graph: “the population goese from” is awkward, and “rapidly increased” is used without clearly identifying the period or scale of change. More precise trend language would help distinguish gradual growth, a peak, a decline and a recovery. For example, use “the urban share rose,” “remained relatively stable,” or “fell before recovering” where these accurately describe the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements and equation-like lists, so it shows limited variety in sentence structures. Errors in sentence formation and punctuation are frequent enough to make parts of the account difficult to read. For instance, “In the year 1970, the percentage … is about 12% , it increased to 13%, year 1990” joins ideas without a clear grammatical structure, while “the population goese from” has an incorrect verb form and agreement. Capitalisation and spacing are also inconsistent, as in “year1980” and “30%.in.” Practise forming complete sentences with accurate past-tense verbs for historical data and clear future forms for predictions, then connect related figures with clauses such as “before rising to” or “is projected to reach.”

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