Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph shows information about the people who are living in cities, in 4 Asian countries like Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonasia. The data points are divided by the gap of a decade.

The minimum number of population in every country that lives in cities is 10-20. As time passes, the number of population living in cities in almost each country increases per decade.

In 1970, Thailand had more crowded cities then Indonasia but in 2000, they both had an equal population that chose to live in cities and by 2020, the Indonasia had more people residing in cities then Thailand. Therefore, it is estimated that in [redacted phone], Indonasia will be having more population in cities then Thailand.

The Philippines had more city population then Malaysia but in [redacted phone], Philippines had no such progress and their city population count dropped below Malaysians. Then from [redacted phone], Philippines made some progress and took the first place above all three: Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonasia but suddenly, their performance went from good to worse and their graph went negative which was not done by any other country among all 4. The number of population in cities even dropped below the Indonasia's making it the third country of highest population living in cities, whereas, the Malaysia took the first spot and it is estimated that Malaysia 80%-90% population of Malaysia will be living in cities by [redacted phone].

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four countries and report several relevant comparisons, including Indonesia overtaking Thailand by 2020 and Malaysia’s strong projected rise. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it lacks a clear overview of the main patterns, and some statements misread the data. For example, the Philippines did not begin above Malaysia in 1970; its figure was slightly higher, but Malaysia overtook it by 1980. The claim that the Philippines “took the first place above all three” in 1990 is also inaccurate, as Malaysia was still close and the graph’s values do not support a clear lead. Replace subjective descriptions such as “performance went…worse” with accurate trend reporting, and cover the overall rise and final ranking more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response is divided into paragraphs and generally moves from an introduction to comparisons between countries, so the reader can follow its broad subject. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the second paragraph gives a vague generalisation, while the later paragraphs jump between periods and rankings without a concise overview to guide the reader. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “Then,” and “whereas” help connect points, but some are used to join claims that are not fully supported or clearly related. For example, the Philippines’ changes are described in a long sequence that mixes its position, trend, and comparison with Malaysia and Indonesia. Organise the report around an overview followed by grouped comparisons, and use clearer references to the figures and time periods.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing change and comparison, including “increases,” “dropped,” “residing,” and “estimated.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “population” and “cities,” and several expressions are imprecise or unsuitable for an academic graph report. “More crowded cities” suggests density rather than the proportion of people living in urban areas, while “their graph went negative” does not accurately describe a decline. There are also noticeable spelling errors in “Indonasia” and “Malaysians,” and phrases such as “first spot” sound informal. Use precise terms such as “urban population share,” “percentage,” “rose,” and “declined,” and check country names carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, and most of the main comparisons remain understandable. However, control is uneven, particularly in complex sentences and comparative structures. Examples include “more crowded cities then Indonasia” and “more people…then Thailand,” where the comparison is not formed correctly, as well as “it is estimated that Malaysia 80%-90% population of Malaysia will be living in cities,” which lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are also awkward article and agreement patterns, such as “the Indonasia” and “the Malaysia took.” Aim for shorter, controlled sentences when reporting figures, and practise accurate forms such as “a higher proportion than,” “Indonesia’s figure,” and “is projected to reach.”

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