Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates about the proportion of the people living cities of four Asian countries ( Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia) between 1970 to 2020, with predictions for next decade (2030 and 2040).

Overview, it is clear that every country increased markedly over given period. The Malaysia however rose significantly accounting for highest precentage of population living. While, Thailand recored the lowest growth of people living in cities.

In 1970, both the Philippines and Malaysia have started almost at around same proportion (around 30%). However, in 1980 Malaysians slighly grew about 40% whereas, Philippines plateauted staying around 30%. Later, Philippinines population fluctuated considerably reaching below 50% later from 2000 to 2010 it fell sharply reaching approximately 40% followed this it grow modestly reaching almost above 50% in the end. In contarst, to Malaysia has overall experienced upward trend before dipping slightly in 1990 (below 50%) and reaching abovr 80% recording the highest estimation of the graph.

Similar pattern has observed where Thailand has experied minor oscillation and Indonesia steeply sugared. From 1970 to 1990 both the countries gradually rose from under 20% to rougly under 30%. After this Indonesia population skyrocketed from about under 30% in 2000 to approximately 60% in 2040. Whereas, Thaliland remained constant before increasing from under 30% in 2020 to around 50% in 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: urbanisation rises in all four countries, Malaysia becomes the most urbanised, and Thailand has the slowest growth. You also make relevant comparisons and include projected figures through 2040, so the response covers the task well. Some details, however, are inaccurate or unclear: Malaysia does not dip in 1990; it rises from about 40% in 1980 to roughly 46% in 1990. The Philippines is described as plateauing in 1980, although it edges up, and its later fall is better characterised as a gradual decline to 2010 rather than a sharp one. The overview would be stronger with a precise comparison of Indonesia’s rapid rise and the Philippines’ fluctuations. These gaps limit the completeness and precision of the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the countries for comparison. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the data. However, some links are awkward or unclear, such as “The Malaysia however” and “In contarst, to Malaysia,” while “Similar pattern has observed” does not clearly connect the preceding comparison to the next one. Several long sentences combine multiple stages without clear punctuation, particularly the sentence tracing the Philippines’ changes. Use clearer topic sentences and divide these sequences into shorter units; connect each comparison explicitly, for example by contrasting Indonesia’s steep rise with Thailand’s gradual growth. This would make progression smoother and reduce the occasional mechanical or confusing cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a useful range of trend vocabulary, including “fluctuated,” “upward trend,” “remained constant,” and “skyrocketed,” and these choices show an effort to describe different patterns rather than repeat “increased.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less precise: “precentage,” “plateauted,” “steeply sugared,” and “minor oscillation” are problematic. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “proportion of the people living cities” and “highest estimation of the graph.” Choose standard chart language and check spelling carefully. More precise alternatives such as “urban population,” “levelled off,” and “recorded the highest proportion” would make your descriptions clearer and more appropriate to an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and “while,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “every country increased” needs a subject referring to the proportion, and “both the Philippines and Malaysia have started” uses an unsuitable tense for past data. The sentence beginning “In contarst, to Malaysia” is not grammatically complete, while “Similar pattern has observed” is missing an auxiliary and article. There are also problems with articles, prepositions, and punctuation around clauses. Practise building complete sentences around one main comparison, and check tense consistency when describing past figures and future projections.

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