Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart illustrates the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, Malaysia population increased significantly, while the proportion of thailand represented the least population. In contrast, Indonesia was noticebly increased. Similarly, Philippines fluctuated over the period.

In 1970, Malaysia and Philippines had relatively high levels of population, at roughly 30% and 31% respectively. Malaysia then experienced a steady and significant increase, reaching nearly 70% in 2020 and after climbing to around 73% and 80% in 2030 and 2040. Similarly, Philippines fluctuated between 31% and 48% in 1980 adn 1990, it then declined steadily to 40 % and remained stable in 2000,2010 and 2020, before reaching a peak at roughly 45% and 50% over the period.

In contrast, Thailand began at approximately 19% in 1970, but witnessed a significant increase to roughly 40% in 2040. Meanwhile, the figure for Indonesia figure rose dramatically to nearly 55% in 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the overall rise in Malaysia and Indonesia and the fluctuation in the Philippines, and you include some relevant figures. However, the overview is incomplete: Thailand is described as having the lowest proportion, but the key contrast that Malaysia becomes the highest and Indonesia rises strongly is not clearly summarised. Several details are inaccurate or unclear. For example, Malaysia is about 76% in 2020 and is forecast to reach roughly 84% in 2040, not 70%, 73% and 80%. The Philippines does not remain stable from 2000 to 2020, and Indonesia reaches about 64% in 2040, rather than 55%. The response is also one word below the required minimum of 150 words. Select the main trends more accurately and support them with well-chosen comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The contrast markers “Overall,” “In contrast” and “Meanwhile” help signal relationships between the countries. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. The Philippines sentence beginning “Similarly, Philippines fluctuated…” combines several periods and contains an unclear sequence, while the final paragraph gives only brief, disconnected coverage of Thailand and Indonesia. Some linking words, such as “Similarly,” do not clearly express the relationship between the information that follows. Group the countries by meaningful trends and present each series in chronological order, using clearer sentence boundaries and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary for describing a graph, including “fluctuated,” “steady,” “declined” and “dramatically.” These choices show an attempt to vary your wording. However, several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision: “Malaysia population” and “the proportion of thailand represented the least population” are not natural ways to describe the data, and “was noticebly increased” is inaccurate in form and spelling. “Reached a peak” is also unsuitable for the Philippines’ forecast, which continues to rise rather than reaching a clear peak. Use precise phrases such as “the proportion of the population living in cities” and check country-name capitalization and spelling. More accurate vocabulary would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause with “while” and a longer sentence describing changes over time. However, control is uneven, and some sentence structures are faulty or incomplete. For example, “In contrast, Indonesia was noticebly increased” does not form a correct verb phrase, and “Similarly, Philippines fluctuated…” lacks an article before the country name. The sentence about the Philippines also joins several clauses without clear punctuation, making its meaning difficult to follow. There are further issues with articles and sentence construction in “Malaysia population increased significantly.” Practise accurate past-tense descriptions and forecasts, and divide long comparisons into shorter, well-punctuated sentences.

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