Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph shows the knowledge about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cites from 1970 to 2020.

Overall, the philippines population increasingly upward and also down sometimes. Malaysia total community increase dramatically and high volume of population includes , on the other hand Thailand and Indonesia population increases day by day .

In 1970, the figure of all countries increasingly 10% above to 35%. The Philippines accounted for around 32% , Malaysia was produce 30% , Thailand at 30% and the Indonesia at just 40% . By 1990, the urban population fluctuate in 20% to 45% and maintain this graph approximately 2010.

In 2020, the urban population show the drastic ratio Malaysia population increase 70% to 85% almost in 2010 to 2040. Then Philippines urban population increasingly upward 45% to 50% almost . Indonesia rose from 14% to 25% in 2010 and then upward 35% to 62% on the last. Thailand at 27% to 45% approximately.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and mention broad upward movement, especially for Malaysia, but the overview is unclear and several key figures are substantially misreported. For example, in 1970 Thailand was about 18% and Indonesia 14%, not 30% and 40%; the Philippines was around 48% in 1990, rather than part of a general 20–45% range. The account also confuses time periods: Malaysia rises from about 76% in 2020 to 84% in 2040, not from 70% to 85% “in 2010 to 2040.” The response is one word below the required minimum. To improve, give a clear overview of the countries’ contrasting trends and select accurate start, end, and turning-point figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs with figures. This gives the reader some sense of how the response is organised. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because dates and comparisons are mixed together, as in “By 1990” followed by a broad range that supposedly continues to 2010. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “on the other hand,” and “Then” are present, but they do not consistently clarify the relationship between the information. Some sentences also combine several countries without a clear comparison. Organise the body chronologically or by country trends, and use explicit time references so each figure is easy to place.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “percentage,” “urban population,” “increase,” and “fluctuate,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning strained: “shows the knowledge,” “total community,” “high volume of population,” and “increasingly upward” are not natural ways to describe a line graph. “Cites” is also a spelling error for “cities,” and “produce 30%” is unsuitable for reporting a figure. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and avoid repeating “population” where “proportion” or “figure” is clearer. More accurate vocabulary would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences and use time phrases such as “By 1990” and “In 2020,” but sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors frequently affect clarity. Examples include “the philippines population increasingly upward,” which lacks a correctly formed verb, and “the figure of all countries increasingly 10% above to 35%,” where the grammatical relationships are unclear. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and tense, as in “the urban population show” and “Malaysia was produce 30%.” Use a reliable pattern such as “The proportion in Malaysia rose from X to Y,” checking subject–verb agreement and past tense. A wider range of accurately controlled sentences is needed.

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