Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph show information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with predictions fro 2030 and 2040.

Overall, there are 4 countries population living in cities are given. All 4 countries has increased over the time. Among them Philippines has more fluctuation than other nation. Indonesia was the lowest and Malaysia was lower than Philippines after the time passes Malaysia will be the highest in the graph.

Firstly, Malaysia is the highest in the graph which sarts from 30% followed to 43% in 1990. After 1990, it rose to 85% by 2040 highest among Asian countries. Indonesia country has increased the percentage of living from 13% rose upto 60% by 2040, that is the second highest in the graph.

Finally, Philippines has more fluctuation. It make the run from 31% highest in starting in 1970, stable from 1970 to 1980 and rose upto 49% by 1990.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the general subject and include an overview that Malaysia is projected to become the highest, while noting fluctuation in the Philippines. However, the overview is inaccurate in saying all four countries increased throughout: the Philippines fell after 1990 before recovering. Several key comparisons and later figures are missing, and the account stops before describing Thailand or the Philippines after 1990. Some reported values are also inaccurate: Malaysia is about 83.5%, not 85%, in 2040, and the Philippines begins at about 32%, not 31%. The response is 142 words, below the required 150, which further limits coverage. Include the main trends for all four countries and support the overview with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Finally.” This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the progression is incomplete and uneven: Malaysia and Indonesia are discussed together, while Thailand is omitted and the Philippines account ends at 1990. Some links between ideas are unclear, particularly “Indonesia was the lowest and Malaysia was lower than Philippines after the time passes Malaysia will be the highest,” where the comparison and time sequence are difficult to follow. Use separate, logically grouped comparisons and connect each stage clearly—for example, contrast the early figures with the projected outcomes—so the report develops from overview to complete detail.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “percentage,” “fluctuation,” “rose,” “stable,” and “highest.” These choices make the topic recognisable, and there is some attempt to vary the language of change. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or awkward, such as “make the run,” “increased the percentage of living,” and “rose upto.” Spelling slips such as “sarts” and “fro” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard chart collocations and precise verbs, such as “the proportion living in cities rose” or “increased steadily.” This would make the comparisons clearer and give the report a more appropriate academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response uses mostly simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to combine ideas using “which” and “after.” However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships difficult to understand. For example, “The graph show” has subject–verb disagreement, while “All 4 countries has increased” has both agreement and an unclear grammatical construction. “Malaysia is the highest … which sarts from 30% followed to 43%” is also difficult to parse, and “It make the run” uses an incorrect verb form. Work on accurate subject–verb agreement, past-tense reporting, and complete sentence structures. A wider range of controlled comparisons and clauses would help express the trends more clearly.

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