Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrates the information regarding the four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020. From the graph, it is clearly visible that there is a significant increase in the population of the Malaysia throughout the years and it can be expected that this rise will continue in upcoming years. The country which shows lowest increase in its population is thailand, through which we can conclude that there is a proper control management system their for this cause. Whereas, the philippines population percantage is being seen as something flunctuating from year 1980 to 2000, as we can see a rapis increase in 1990 and it faces a decline phase in year 2000 and afterwards it's population is being increased in a gradual manner. The population percentage of indonesia seems to have a gradual increase till 2000 and afterwards the rise in the population becomes rapid making it a second most highest one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant trends, including Malaysia’s strong rise, the Philippines’ fluctuation, and Indonesia’s faster growth after 2000. However, the response is incomplete and does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons across all four countries. Thailand is described as having the lowest increase, but the chart shows it rises by about 31 percentage points overall, while the Philippines rises by less; the claim about a “proper control management system” is unsupported and should not be inferred from the data. You also omit key endpoint comparisons, such as Malaysia remaining highest and Indonesia reaching second place by 2040. The response is 144 words, below the 150-word minimum, and the task prompt’s copied words do not count toward that minimum.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph and then comments on individual countries. Linking expressions such as “Whereas” and “afterwards” help show contrast and time progression. However, the ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and there is no distinct overview followed by organised supporting details. Some connections are unclear: “through which” awkwardly links Thailand’s trend to an unsupported explanation, while “the second most highest one” does not clearly specify whether this refers to the population level or the rate of increase. Grouping the countries by their overall patterns and using separate paragraphs for the overview and details would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “significant increase,” “gradual manner,” “decline,” and “rapid,” so the reader can understand the general trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Population of the Malaysia” is not the right way to describe the proportion living in cities, and “proper control management system” introduces an unsupported idea rather than reporting data. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “percantage,” “flunctuating,” and “rapis.” Aim for precise terms such as “urban population,” “proportion,” and “percentage points,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, for example the sentence describing the Philippines’ rise, decline, and later recovery. However, complex sentences are often awkwardly constructed, and errors in agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy. In “the four asian countries living in cities,” the opening does not clearly express that the graph shows percentages of people living in cities; “the population of the Malaysia” also has an unnecessary article. The sentence beginning “The country which shows lowest increase” needs an article before “lowest,” and “it's population” uses a contraction where a possessive form is required. Use shorter, controlled sentences to report each trend, then combine ideas only when the grammatical links are clear.

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