Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph illustrate percentage of the population living in the cities in four countries, Philippines, malaysia, thailand, and indonesia.

In 1970, pecentage of total population in cities show Philippines are 32% as higher people living in cities and indonesia are 135 as lowest and malaysia in 30% and thailand in 18%.

As years passes in 2000, indonesia drastically raises to 30% and continue to raise while Philippines and thailand are in slow progress

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the topic and report some starting figures, including the Philippines at 32%, Malaysia at 30% and Thailand at 18% in 1970. However, the Indonesia figure is incorrectly given as “135” rather than about 14%, and the response stops after a brief comment on 2000. It does not provide a clear overview of the main trends or cover the later years and forecasts, so the key comparisons are largely missing. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, which limits how much of the task is addressed. To improve, include an overview and select several accurate comparisons across the full period, especially Malaysia’s rise to the highest level and Indonesia’s strong growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening identifies the graph, followed by a paragraph about 1970 and a final comment on change by 2000. The time references “In 1970” and “As years passes in 2000” provide some progression. However, the response ends abruptly, and the ideas are not developed into a complete account of the graph. The final sentence combines several trends without explaining them or making clear comparisons, while the opening and body are not connected through a clear overview. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the main comparisons, and link each point with clear time markers such as “By 2000” and “Thereafter.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses relevant basic vocabulary, including “percentage,” “population,” “cities,” and “raises,” so the general subject is recognisable. There is also an attempt to describe change with “drastically” and “slow progress.” However, the range is narrow and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “higher people living in cities” does not clearly express a higher proportion, and “slow progress” is not a natural description of a trend in a graph. Spelling and capitalisation errors, including “pecentage,” “malaysia,” “thailand,” and “indonesia,” also reduce control. Build a small set of precise trend expressions and use “urban population” or “proportion living in cities” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form connected sentences and use time clauses, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “The given graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “percentage … show Philippines are 32%” has problems with agreement and sentence structure. “As years passes” also uses an incorrect verb form, and the final sentence lacks clear punctuation and a complete, well-controlled structure. Most sentences are simple, with little evidence of accurate complex structures. Practise building clear comparison sentences, for example, “In 1970, the Philippines had the highest urban share, at 32%, while Indonesia had the lowest, at about 14%.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries when editing.

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