Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph gives information regarding the percentage of population in four Asaian countries such as Philippines,Malaysia,Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020,with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Overall,we compare the ratio of people of less populations with the higher population with parallel years whose living in cities.SO Malaysia will be the number one in increasing population towards cities and Thailand is the lowest in the population growth in 2040.In this essay we discussed all the point. At first,we discussed the year 1970 to 2000 with the ratio of fertility of four Asaian nation.Phillippines and Malaysia population was round about 31% but on other sideThailand fertility nearly 19% in cities and Indonesia was just under 15% but in 2000 the change in population of Phlillipines surged up to approximately 60% and Malaysia was decreased toward over 40% in cities.However,the number of Indonesian people shifted towards cities was nearly 25% in 2000 but in Thailand the ratio of people in commercial areas was aslo nearly 25%. At last,in 2040 the percentage of people who moving towards in big cities are increasing to skyrockets,with the ratio of about 50% in Phillipines,Malaysia stand first with approximately 85%,Thailand nearly 40% and Indonesia will reach almost 60%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the topic, time span and four countries, and your overview recognises Malaysia as the leading country by 2040. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: Thailand is not the lowest in 2040, since the Philippines is higher but Thailand remains below Indonesia; the figures are about 50%, 56%, 50% and 64% respectively. Several key details are also misreported. In 2000, the Philippines was around 46%, not 60%, while Malaysia was about 60%, not just over 40%; Indonesia and Thailand were both around 31%, not 25%. The response therefore only partially reports the main features, and the discussion of 1970–2000 is not reliably supported by the graph. Focus on accurate trends and comparisons rather than fertility or movement into cities.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic structure: an introduction, an attempted overview, and two time-based sections. This gives the reader some sense of how the response is organised. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview uses unclear wording such as “we compare the ratio of people of less populations with the higher population,” and the body shifts between countries and years without a consistent comparison. Connectors such as “At first,” “However,” and “At last” are used, but they do not always show the relationship between the information accurately. The final paragraph gives 2040 figures without linking them clearly to earlier trends. Organise the body into clear comparisons, and use linking phrases only where they express a precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “approximately,” “increasing,” and “predictions,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “ratio of fertility” does not describe the graph, and “people of less populations” is unclear. Phrases such as “population shifted towards cities” and “increasing to skyrockets” are also awkward for describing urban-population proportions. There are noticeable spelling errors in country names, including “Asaian,” “Phillippines,” and “Phlillipines.” Use precise terms such as “urban population” and “the proportion living in cities,” and check the spelling of names and key vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a future statement about 2040. Nevertheless, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to interpret. For example, “whose living in cities” is an incomplete relative construction, while “the percentage of people who moving” is missing a verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “Philippines and Malaysia population was,” and punctuation is often missing after introductory phrases. Build accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, use “who are moving” or “who will live,” and separate each sentence clearly with appropriate punctuation.

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