Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates the information about the percentage of the population in four asain countries living in cities from 1090 to 2020.

Overall, it bis clear that the highest population in malaysia, while indonessia low percentage population.

In the graph in 1970 the highest figure malaysia population 1970 to 2040 in the graph increase 30% to around 85 % total ppopulation mainly malaysia rank higest population and the otherside philippines also higest population aroung 30% to 55% increase in the graph.

On the otherhand, Thailand around 18% population increase to 45% as compared to other countries and 1990 percenatge increase upto so on 2040 and indonesia wah the lowest figure in grapgh which low population around 15% and increase suddenly to 60% till 2040 in 1970 to 2040 these four countries competetion of total persentage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general subject and mention all four countries, with some broad trends: Malaysia rises, Thailand increases, and Indonesia grows from a low starting point. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: Indonesia is not the lowest by 2040, and Malaysia is the highest overall rather than simply having the “highest population” throughout. Several key comparisons are missing, including Indonesia overtaking the Philippines by 2010 and Malaysia reaching the highest projected level. Some figures are also imprecise, such as Malaysia ending at “around 85%” rather than about 84%. The response is 126 words, below the 150-word minimum, which limits the detail and coverage. Select the main turning points and give a clearer overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” signal sections. However, the progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow. The first detail paragraph shifts from Malaysia to the Philippines without a clear comparison, while the final paragraph combines Thailand, Indonesia and a general statement about competition. Some linking phrases do not accurately express the relationship between ideas, and references such as “the otherside” are unclear. Use one paragraph to compare the higher urbanisation figures and another for the lower starting countries and their later changes. Clearer sequencing and more precise links would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “percentage,” “increase,” “highest” and “lowest,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several phrases are unnatural or unclear, such as “highest population,” “these four countries competetion” and “increase suddenly.” There are also frequent spelling errors, including “asain,” “indonessia,” “percenatge” and “grapgh,” which make the writing harder to read. Use accurate chart language such as “urban population,” “proportion,” “rose steadily” and “overtook,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a country’s level from the change in its percentage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to form longer sentences and use time references, but sentence structures are very limited and errors frequently obscure meaning. For example, “Overall, it bis clear that the highest population in malaysia” has no complete main clause, and “in 1970 the highest figure malaysia population” is missing grammatical links. Tense and sentence construction are also problematic in “Thailand around 18% population increase to 45%” and “indonesia wah the lowest figure.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, and several sentences run together without clear boundaries. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then add comparisons using structures such as “while” and “whereas.”

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