Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The below graph shows fourdifferent Asian countries population in 1970 to 2020 and after some year passed in 2030 to 2040 the rate of population rise.

In 1970 indonesia 15 % ,Thailand about 20 % , Malaysia and Philippines 30 % population rate .Later some year in 2020 the rate of population in Malaysia very high its 70 % of other three countries ,Malaysia and Indonesia are 45% are riseing thier population ,

In 2040 Malaysia still rise their population its about 80% that is too high rate of other countries ,the Phillippines rate in 2040 is 50 % , indonesia is 55% and Thailand 40 % are rising their ratio of population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four countries and include some starting and projected figures, such as Indonesia at about 15% in 1970 and Malaysia near 80% in 2040. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: it gives no clear overview of the main trends across the period and largely jumps from 1970 to 2020 and 2040. Some comparisons are inaccurate or unclear: in 2020 Malaysia is about 76%, while Indonesia is about 52%, not 45%; and in 2040 Thailand is close to 50%, not 40%, while Indonesia is about 64%, not 55%. The response is also 37 words below the required minimum, limiting the detail reported. Include the key rises and fluctuations and compare the countries accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response by time, moving from 1970 to 2020 and then 2040. This gives the reader a rough sense of the sequence, and the country names provide some reference points. However, the ideas are not developed into a clear progression: the first paragraph combines several figures in a run-on passage, and the second gives a list of projected values without explaining how they relate to earlier trends. Linking is sparse, and phrases such as “Later some year” do not clearly signal the time relationship. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and key details, then group countries by trend or compare them across selected years. Clear sentence boundaries and accurate transitions would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “population,” “rate,” “high,” and “rising,” so the general subject can be understood. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several choices are imprecise for describing this graph. “Population rate” is not the same as the percentage living in cities, while “rise their population” does not accurately describe an increase in the urban share. There are also spelling errors such as “indonesia,” “Phillippines,” and “thier,” alongside awkward phrases such as “some year passed.” Use precise trend language such as “urban population share,” “increased,” “declined,” and “remained relatively stable,” and check country-name spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate some simple information using short clauses, for example, “The Philippines rate in 2040 is 50%.” However, sentence structures are very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation and punctuation make parts difficult to interpret. The opening, “The below graph shows fourdifferent Asian countries population,” lacks a clear grammatical structure; later, “Malaysia and Indonesia are 45% are riseing” contains an incomplete or duplicated verb pattern. Missing articles and possessives, inconsistent capitalisation, and comma splices also affect accuracy. Practise forming complete sentences with a subject and verb, for example, “In 2020, Malaysia’s urban share was about 76%, compared with 52% in Indonesia.” Use full stops to separate comparisons and maintain consistent past and future forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.