Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph provides data on percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with forecast for 2030 and 2040. It is seen that, population of Malaysia was slightly increased. Moreover, the population of Thailand were gradually fluctuated.

It is quite evident that, the population of Indonesia surged sharply during 1970 to 2040 by 10% to almost 60%.Furthermore, the population of Philippines levelled off during 1970 to 1990 by 30% to 50% significantly it dipped from 50% to around 40% in 2010. Moreover, population of Malaysia rose steadily during 1970 to 2040 from 30% to reach 90%. The population of Indonesia grew slightly in 2000 by 30%, compare to Thailand it remained stable between 30%. However, the highest population grew during time period of 1970 to 2020 was Malaysia. Compare of Thailand it dropped during 1970 to 2020. Overall, Malaysia holds 1 rank on highest population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and mention several relevant trends, including Malaysia’s rise and the Philippines’ decline after 1990. However, the overview is inaccurate and incomplete: Malaysia did not rise only slightly, but climbed strongly to about 84%, while Thailand generally increased rather than fluctuated or dropped. Some figures and comparisons are also misreported: Indonesia rose from about 14% to 64%, not from 10% to almost 60%, and the Philippines’ peak was about 48%, not 50%. The response is under the 150-word minimum at 137 words. To improve, give a clear overview of the main contrasts and support it with accurate, selected figures across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph break and uses linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “However,” so there is an attempt to connect ideas. However, the information is not arranged in a clear progression: trends for different countries are mixed together, and the final comparisons repeat or contradict earlier statements. For example, Thailand is described as fluctuating, remaining stable, and then dropping, without a clear sequence or explanation. Some transitions do not show a logical relationship between the sentences. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and body paragraphs that group countries or compare their trends over time. Use fewer, more precise linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some suitable trend vocabulary, including “surged sharply,” “levelled off,” “dipped,” and “rose steadily,” which helps communicate changes in the graph. The range is nevertheless uneven, and several choices are inaccurate or awkward for describing data. “Population” is repeatedly used where “proportion” or “percentage” is intended, and “holds 1 rank on highest population” is not a natural way to describe the highest urban share. Phrases such as “grew slightly in 2000” also do not clearly express a change between years. Aim for precise terms such as “urbanisation rate,” “increased,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and use collocations like “ranked highest” or “accounted for the largest share.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the reader can generally identify the countries and trends being discussed. However, grammatical errors are frequent, particularly with articles, agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “the population of Thailand were,” “population of Malaysia rose,” and “It is seen that, population,” where agreement, article use, or punctuation is faulty. The sentence beginning “Furthermore, the population of Philippines…” runs into the next idea without a clear boundary, and “Compare of Thailand it dropped” is difficult to parse. Practise accurate sentence patterns such as “The proportion in Thailand increased gradually” and use full stops to separate comparisons. Greater control of these basic structures would make your meaning clearer.

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