Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The Line graph below providesw information about the proportion of the total amount of people in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia between 1970 to 2020,and with future predictions between 2030 and 2040.

Overall, The percentage of the people living in Malaysia witnessed a marginal increase, which was 30percent, from the year [redacted phone], it reached its peak, while Philippines witnessed a slight dip from the year 2000 to 2010.

The percentage of people living in indonesia increased gradually by 15 percent. from the year 1970 to the year 2040.

The percentage of people living in Thailand, from the year 1970 to 1980 remained stable, slightly above 30percent.

In 2000, the percentage of people living in Thailand and Indonesia intersected and it was below 20 percent

In 1990 the percentage of people living in Malaysia increased by approximately 45percent.

In the year 2010, There was an intersection between Indonesia and Philippines but the percentage of Indonesia and Philippines was below 50percent,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four countries and make some relevant observations, including Malaysia’s rise and the Philippines’ dip between 2000 and 2010. However, the overview is incomplete and several key details are inaccurate or unclear. Malaysia did not rise by only 30% from 1970 to 2020; it increased from about 30% to 76%, and its highest figure is projected for 2040. Thailand did not remain stable from 1970 to 1980, and its values were not slightly above 30% then. The claim that Thailand and Indonesia intersected in 2000 is also incorrect: both were around 30.5% at that point, not below 20%. To improve, give a clear overview of the main trends and support it with accurate comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence, beginning with an introduction and then moving through observations about individual countries. However, the ideas are not arranged into a clear, coherent report: there is no distinct overview paragraph, and the country details appear as separate statements without a logical grouping or progression. For example, the discussion jumps from Indonesia to Thailand, then back to Malaysia and finally to the Philippines. Some links between ideas are also unclear, particularly the sentence about the 2000 intersection. Organise the body by comparing related trends or by describing earlier and later periods, and use paragraphing to distinguish the overview from supporting details. This would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some suitable task vocabulary, such as “proportion,” “witnessed,” “marginal increase,” and “predictions,” showing an attempt to describe trends rather than simply list figures. However, several choices are inaccurate or awkward for this graph. “The total amount of people” is not a natural way to describe a percentage, while “increased by approximately 45 percent” confuses a value of about 45% with an increase of 45 percentage points. “Intersection” is also used where a clearer description of the countries’ figures being equal would help. There are spelling and presentation slips, including “indonesia” and “providesw.” Aim for precise terms such as “share of the population,” “stood at,” and “rose to,” and distinguish a percentage level from a change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while” and time phrases such as “from the year 1970 to the year 2040.” However, control is uneven, and several sentences are incomplete or awkwardly joined. For example, “The percentage of people living in Indonesia increased gradually by 15 percent. from the year 1970 to the year 2040” breaks the time phrase away from the sentence, while “In 2000, the percentage … intersected and it was below 20 percent” has an unclear subject reference. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, as in “Overall, The” and “2010, There.” Use complete sentences with clear subjects, check that clauses are joined correctly, and proofread punctuation and capital letters.

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