Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information about the proportion of the population in 4 different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, percentage in Philippines , Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia are expected to increase.Malaysia has the highest figures and Thailand has the lowest predicting population throughout the period.

In 1970, percentage of population in both countries Malaysia and Philippines were almost 30 % . However, then in 1980, population's proportion of Malaysia stated to grow dramatcially and touched almost 45 % and then it reached approximately 80% at the end of the period. While on the other hand , population of Philippines was almsot 50% in 1990 and then its figure showed a fluctuation and hit about 50% in 20240.

Moreover, In 1970, population of Indonesia was only 12% and Thailand had about 19% in the same year. After that, Indonesia's population strated to increase dramatically and reached almost 60% in 2040 .In contrast, Thailand's population grew steadily and in 2040, it touched approximatelty 40% at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the overall upward direction and make relevant comparisons, including Malaysia’s high figures and Indonesia’s substantial rise. The response also includes selected starting and ending values, so the main trends are generally clear. However, the overview is not fully accurate: Thailand is not the lowest throughout, since Indonesia starts lower in 1970, and Malaysia is not highest throughout because the Philippines is slightly higher in 1970. Some details also need closer reporting: Malaysia is about 40% in 1980, not 45%, and Thailand reaches about 50% by 2040 rather than 40%. The Philippines’ fluctuation is mentioned but not clearly described. More precise comparisons and a fully accurate overview would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the countries. This makes the information easy to follow overall, and linking expressions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “In contrast” help signal comparisons. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear. For example, “While on the other hand” combines two contrasting linkers, and the shift from Malaysia to the Philippines in the same sentence is difficult to track. The overview also runs the country names together without clear punctuation. To improve progression, group related trends more deliberately and use concise transitions, while ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “increase,” “grow,” “fluctuation,” “steadily,” and “reached,” which is appropriate for describing a line graph. However, some word choices and collocations are imprecise or repetitive: “touched” is not natural for a percentage reaching a value, and “population’s proportion” is awkward. Several spelling errors, including “dramatcially,” “almsot,” “strated,” and “approximatelty,” reduce accuracy and polish. The repeated use of “population” also makes the report less concise. Aim for standard graph-reporting phrases such as “the proportion rose to” and check spelling carefully; this would make your adequate vocabulary more precise and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “However” and “While,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “percentage in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia are expected to increase” lacks articles and has awkward agreement, while “Malaysia stated to grow” uses an incorrect verb form. There are also missing or misplaced articles in phrases such as “In 1970, percentage of population,” and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. The sentence beginning “While on the other hand” is also structurally incomplete. Practise accurate article use, subject–verb agreement, and complete contrast sentences while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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