Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graph compares the percentage of population in different asian countries from 1970 to 2020 and 2030 to 2040.

Overall, the percentage of total population in cities were highest in Malaysia. By contrast, the least population was in Thailand in 2040. Percentage of all four countries Malaysia, Thailand, Philippines and Indonesia remains same in 1980 respectively.

In 1970, population percentage of people was 30% in Malaysia and Philippines. While approximately 15% to 17% in Indonesia and Thailand.

By 2010, number of people percentage slighlty increased in Indonesian, phillipinians and Malasyian, followe by decline in Thailand.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the graph’s subject and make an attempt at an overview by noting Malaysia’s high position and comparing countries. However, the overview is inaccurate: Thailand is not the lowest in 2040; the Philippines is only slightly higher than Thailand, while Malaysia is highest and Indonesia is second. The claim that all four countries’ figures “remain same in 1980” is unclear and unsupported. Your account gives only a few starting figures and an inaccurate description of the period to 2010: Indonesia and Malaysia rose substantially, the Philippines fluctuated, and Thailand increased rather than declined. The response is also 97 words, below the required 150, so key trends and comparisons are left undeveloped. Select the main changes across the full period and report them accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and overview before moving to figures for 1970 and 2010. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression is limited because the response is very short and the paragraphs do not develop a clear comparison across the timeline. Linking is also sometimes inaccurate or incomplete: “While approximately 15% to 17%...” is a fragment, and “followe by decline in Thailand” does not clearly connect to the preceding comparison. The word “respectively” is used without a clear matching sequence. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key stages, and connect each comparison explicitly to its country and year.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “percentage,” “population,” “highest,” “decline,” and “increased.” These terms show an awareness of the task’s subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “number of people percentage” and “population percentage of people.” Country names are also misspelled (“Indonesian,” “phillipinians,” and “Malasyian”), and “remains same” is not a natural way to describe figures. Aim for precise collocations such as “the proportion of the population living in cities” and use verbs like “rose,” “fell,” or “fluctuated” to describe changes. Check spelling of all country names.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes some simple sentence forms and an attempt at a more complex comparison, but grammatical control is inconsistent. For example, “the percentage ... were highest” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Percentage of all four countries ... remains same” has problems with the article, verb form, and sentence construction. “While approximately 15% to 17% in Indonesia and Thailand” is not a complete sentence, and “By 2010, number of people percentage slighlty increased” lacks a clear grammatical subject. These errors sometimes make relationships between figures unclear. Practise complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and articles. A wider range of accurately controlled sentence patterns would make the comparisons easier to understand.

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