Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are four Asian countries representing their different types of percentage of the population living in cities from the time period 1970 to 2020 and also gaves prediction for 2030 and 2040 Overall,the countries describing the total percentage of population from 1970 to 2040.By looking staright to past,we had seen that there is not a big change in the past years.But,growing the age of time all are rising. In 1980,there were a not briiliant change the percentage stand on 10% to 20% in Thailand and Indonesia and Phillipines and Malaysia rised upto 30% In the time period of 1990 and 2020,the population level reached upto 40 to 60% the highest percentage shown in the map were Malaysia which increases more further in future upto 80%. The main calculations in future, it is closley to reach above 60% for all four countries and recorded the total percentage in Malaysia which is still high and same

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the subject and time span, and you note two relevant broad features: Malaysia reaches the highest level, while all four countries are expected to rise. However, the response only partially reports the graph’s main information, and several comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. For example, the claim that Thailand and Indonesia were between 10% and 20% in 1980 overlooks Thailand’s figure of about 24%; the Philippines and Malaysia were also not both at 30%. The statement that all four countries will be above 60% is incorrect, since the Philippines and Thailand remain below that level in 2040. Give a clearer overview and select accurate start/end figures and contrasting trends, especially Indonesia’s strong rise and the Philippines’ fluctuation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and later details, and phrases such as “In 1980” and “In the time period of 1990 and 2020” provide some time-based sequencing. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is vague and the body combines several countries and periods without clear comparisons. The long, loosely connected sentences and abrupt shifts make relationships between points unclear; for instance, the sentence about 1990–2020 moves from a broad range to Malaysia’s future figure. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, and connect each figure directly to the country and period it describes.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “population,” “increases” and “highest,” so the reader can recognise the general topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “different types of percentage,” “not a big change,” “main calculations in future” and “recorded the total percentage” are not natural ways to describe a line graph. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “staright,” “briiliant,” “Phillipines” and “closley.” Build a small set of accurate trend expressions—such as “rose steadily,” “fluctuated,” “remained relatively stable” and “was projected to reach”—and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use time clauses, but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently enough to make some statements hard to understand. For example, “Overall,the countries describing the total percentage…” is not a complete, clear sentence, while “there were a not briiliant change” has problems with article use and sentence structure. Tense and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “gaves prediction” and “we had seen,” and punctuation is often missing or misplaced, particularly around sentence boundaries. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, past-tense forms and commas/full stops.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.