Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The bar illustrate information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020,with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

It can be seen that the population of Malaysia had grew sharply. In 1970 it begans from just 30 percent and in 2020 it lies on 72 percent and it also grow in 2040.While the popular of Philippines began from 31 percent and have a moderate change between 1970 to 2020 and it should be grew in 2040.The population of Thailand began from just 19 percent and have a moderate change between 1970 to 2020 and should grow in future. The population of Indonesia just began from just 11 percent and dramatically grow between 1970 to 2020 and it also increase i was 2040.

In Conclusion, the Malaysia remains at the peak and Indonesia rank in second as population growth in asia and other two had a moderate change.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the overall upward movement in all four countries and note that Malaysia finishes highest, while the Philippines changes less markedly. However, the account is brief and omits important comparisons: Indonesia rises from the lowest starting point to overtake the Philippines and Thailand by 2020, while Thailand grows more gradually. Some details are imprecise or unclear, such as saying Indonesia “dramatically grow” without reporting its later position, and the conclusion incorrectly describes Indonesia as second in Asia rather than second among these four countries in 2040. The response contains 137 words, below the required 150, which limits the detail provided. Add a clear overview and support it with accurate start- and end-point comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, a description of the four countries, and a concluding statement. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “While” and “In Conclusion” attempt to connect ideas. However, most of the country descriptions are crowded into one paragraph, and the repeated pattern of “The population of…” makes the progression mechanical. Connections between time periods and comparisons are not always clear; for example, the Philippines and Thailand are described separately rather than contrasted with Indonesia’s stronger rise. Punctuation also runs sentences together, as in “2040.While”. Use separate overview and detail paragraphs, group countries with similar or contrasting trends, and use linking expressions accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “grew sharply,” “moderate change,” and “dramatically,” and the main topic remains understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. “The popular of Philippines” appears to mean the population, while “it lies on 72 percent” is not a natural way to report a figure. “The bar” also misidentifies the visual, which is a line graph. Repetition of “began,” “grow,” and “population” further limits flexibility. Build a small set of accurate trend verbs and comparison phrases, and check spelling and collocations before writing the final version.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences joined with words such as “while” and “and,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and tense are frequent: “had grew,” “it begans,” “have a moderate change,” and “should be grew” are not grammatically formed. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, including “the population of Malaysia” followed by “it also grow,” and the run-on punctuation in “2040.While”. These errors sometimes make relationships between events and predictions unclear. Practise past-tense forms for historical data and use “is projected to” for forecasts. Then check subject–verb agreement and divide long sentences into complete, correctly punctuated units.

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