Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The following diagram represents the details about the ratio of people living in cities of four different Asian countries from 1970 to 2020. There are also predictions for the years 2030 and 2040.
Overall, in 1970, people living in Philippines show the highest percentage and Indonesian show the lowest. However, population of Malaysia show the highest rate and Thailand presents the lowest in the year 2040.
To begin with, people in Indonesia present a ratio of 12% in 1970 that goes upto 51% in 2020. Moreover, the population of Thailand represents a percentage of 19% that reaches to 30% in 2020.
In addition, 30% of the peole living in Malaysia increments to around 78% of the population in 2020. Furthermore, 32% of the population of Philipphines firstly increments and then declines to a rate of 43% in 2020.
However, there is also a prediction that percentages of people living in different cities would gradually increase in the years 2030 and 2040.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the overall direction of change and make relevant comparisons, including Malaysia’s rise and the Philippines’ fluctuation. However, the overview is incomplete: the Philippines is highest in 1970, but Indonesia—not Malaysia—has the largest increase across the period, and the forecast that all figures rise does not distinguish the countries’ different projected levels. Several figures are inaccurate: Indonesia is about 14% in 1970, not 12%; Thailand is about 34% in 2020, not 30%; and Malaysia is about 76% in 2020, rather than around 78%. The Philippines’ 2020 figure is about 46%, so 43% is also low. Select the most important trends and report approximate values more carefully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. This makes the main purpose easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal progression. However, the body paragraphs group countries without a clear comparative principle, and the final paragraph repeats a general prediction rather than developing the comparison. “However” is not a natural link for introducing that forecast, since it does not contrast with the preceding point. Organise the details into meaningful comparisons—for example, the countries with the highest urban shares and those with the strongest growth—and use references that make each comparison explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “predictions,” “declines,” and “gradually increase,” so the reader can understand the topic and broad trends. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a line graph. “Ratio of people” is less suitable than “proportion,” while “population … increments” is an awkward collocation; “rises” or “increases” would be clearer. There are also spelling errors in “peole” and “Philipphines,” and “people living in different cities” changes the meaning from people living in cities to people in particular cities. Aim for precise terms such as “urban population” and “share of the population,” and check spelling and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use both simple statements and more complex forms, including the relative clause in “a ratio of 12% in 1970 that goes…” and the contrastive structure “firstly increments and then declines.” Most sentences remain understandable, and errors do not generally prevent the reader from following your account. Some grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently, however. In “people living in Philippines show” and “population of Malaysia show,” the subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and country names need articles where appropriate (“the Philippines”). The phrase “reaches to 30%” also uses an unnecessary preposition, while “would gradually increase” is an awkward tense choice for a chart forecast. Practise agreement, articles, and accurate verb patterns in otherwise varied sentences.
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