Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph chart shows the information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020. In below , i will summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent.

First of all this is grapf og percentage of total population versus year . The including countries is Philippnes,Malaysia,Thailand,Indonesia.The data taken from the year of 1970 to 2040. However, the rate of population is increasing from 1970 for all the including years but in 1990 the rate is grater in Philippines rather than all countries but after this year the rate in descreasing ina vast range . But after 2000, the percentage is singnificantly increasing in the Indonesia and after 1990 its also same for Malaysia. Aprt from all other ,Malaysia is also progess in increasing its population from 1970 and its does show not a much decreasing scenario in the graph.

In conclusion, for the above four countries by the help of civilization and advanced technologies the rateof population in the impotant cities would increased day by day and there occured some incidents(robbery) in some time for those reason people also migrant from those areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and mention several relevant patterns, including the Philippines reaching a high point in 1990 before falling, and growth in Malaysia and Indonesia. However, the response only minimally fulfils the task because it does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons across all four countries. For example, it misses that Malaysia is projected to remain the most urbanised country and that Indonesia is expected to overtake the Philippines, while Thailand rises more gradually. Some claims are unclear or inaccurate: the Philippines’ decline is described as occurring “in a vast range,” and the conclusion introduces technology, robbery and migration, none of which the graph shows. Focus on the data and report key trends rather than causes or speculation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a main paragraph and a conclusion, and words such as “However,” “after this year” and “In conclusion” signal relationships between ideas. Nevertheless, the information is not arranged coherently enough: the main paragraph moves between countries and time periods without a clear sequence, and several references are difficult to follow, such as “after this year” and “its also same.” The conclusion shifts to unsupported explanations rather than summarising the graph. To improve, use a clear overview followed by grouped comparisons—for example, discuss Malaysia and Indonesia’s strong growth together, then contrast them with the Philippines and Thailand. Make each linking phrase connect ideas precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “population,” “increasing” and “decreasing,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand: “grapf,” “relevent,” “singnificantly” and “progess” are examples. Several expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the rate of population,” “the including countries” and “does show not a much decreasing scenario.” Choose standard terms for describing a graph, such as “urban population,” “the figures for” and “rose steadily.” Accurate spelling and more precise collocations would make your comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using “however,” “but” and “after,” alongside simpler statements, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently affect clarity. For instance, “the rate of population is increasing from 1970 for all the including years” has an unclear time construction, while “the rate in descreasing” and “its does show” contain faulty verb forms. Articles, agreement and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “First of all this is grapf og percentage” and the long sentence beginning “However, the rate…”. Aim first for accurate simple sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add complex clauses. Check tense consistency, articles and punctuation when editing.

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