Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts about the percentage of living people in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020 and results are predicted for 2030 and 2040.

In summary, population of Malaysia is substantially increased and rocketted to peak by 2040. Population of Philippines is raised over a period and slip back. In 2000 there are same number of people lived in Thailand and Indonesia.

Population of Thailand and Indonesia was less than 20 percent in 1970. It started increasing substantially and attined same in 2000 with around 30 percent. Later Indonesia population increased tremendously to 60 percent by 2040. Moreover, Thailand population is gradually increased to around 50 percent by 2040.

In 1970, population of Malaysia and Philippines was only 30 percent. By 1990 it was reached around 45 percent. Philippines population was slip back to 40 percent in 2010 by having same population as of Thailand. Later it is gradually increased to 60 percent by 2040. Where as the substantially increment of Malaysia population reached to 90 percent by 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover the main overall patterns and make relevant comparisons: Malaysia rises strongly, the Philippines fluctuates before recovering, and Thailand and Indonesia begin at lower levels. You also correctly note that Thailand and Indonesia are both around 30% in 2000. However, several figures and descriptions are inaccurate. Malaysia is about 83.5%, not 90%, in 2040; the Philippines is about 55.5%, not 60%; and Indonesia reaches about 64%, rather than 60%. The claim that the Philippines and Thailand have the same share in 2010 is also incorrect: their figures are about 42.5% and 32.5%. A clearer overview of the final ranking and the contrasting growth rates would make the key features more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs grouping the countries. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and some links are mechanical or incomplete. For example, “Where as the substantially increment of Malaysia…” does not form a complete sentence, while “Later” is repeated to connect several changes without showing how the trends compare. The overview also lists separate movements rather than clearly summarising the most important contrasts. Use topic sentences to identify each group’s main pattern, then order the figures chronologically and connect comparisons explicitly, such as contrasting Indonesia’s rapid rise with Thailand’s slower growth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “gradually increased,” “substantially,” and “predicted,” and the main subject remains understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “percentage of living people,” “rocketted to peak,” and “same number of people lived.” There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “attined” and “substantially increment.” In addition, “population” is repeatedly used where “urban share” or “proportion” would be more accurate, since the graph shows percentages living in cities rather than population totals. Build a more controlled set of trend expressions and use them precisely; this will improve clarity as well as variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can generally follow the intended trends. However, errors in verb forms, articles and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. For example, “In 2000 there are same number of people lived” combines incompatible structures; “By 1990 it was reached” uses an incorrect passive form; and “Philippines population was slip back” has an incorrect verb pattern. The final sentence beginning “Where as” is also a fragment rather than a complete clause. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate past-tense verbs for historical data and future forms for predictions, and check subject–verb agreement and articles. More reliable control of these patterns would make your comparisons easier to read.

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