Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates information redarding the urban population shares in four countries in Asia from 1970 to 2020, as well as forecasts for the years 2030 and 2040.

Overall, the number of residents living in indonesia is constantly rising despite, being at the last at the begining.The percentage of people living in philippines was at the top in first but there was a dramatic flucation between the year

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The opening identifies the chart’s subject and time span, and the overview attempts to highlight Indonesia’s rise and the Philippines’ changing pattern. However, the response stops before completing its comparison: “there was a dramatic fluctuation between the year” gives no years or direction, and no figures or trends are reported for Malaysia or Thailand. The claim that Indonesia was “at the last” initially is broadly supported, but the overview does not identify Malaysia’s strong rise to the highest projected share. The task is addressed only minimally, with key features left undeveloped. The response is also 81 words below the required minimum, leaving too little evidence to summarise the graph adequately. Develop a complete overview and support it with selected comparisons across the four countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory sentence is followed by a separate overview paragraph, and “Overall” signals a shift to the main features. This gives the reader a simple starting structure. However, the second paragraph ends mid-sentence at “between the year,” so the ideas do not form a complete progression and the comparison is impossible to follow. The overview also places two observations together without explaining their relationship. To improve, complete each sentence and organise the report into a clear introduction, overview, and one or two paragraphs comparing the countries’ trends. Use linking expressions to show contrasts and changes over time, rather than relying on a single general transition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “urban population shares,” “forecasts,” “percentage,” and “dramatic fluctuation.” These choices show an attempt to use task-specific language rather than only everyday terms. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors—“redarding,” “begining,” and “flucation”—make the writing less clear and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. “Number of residents” is also imprecise when the graph reports percentages, not absolute numbers. Build a small set of accurate trend expressions, such as “the proportion rose steadily” or “the figure fluctuated,” and check spelling and whether each term matches the data being described.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The opening sentence is a complete, understandable complex sentence, using “as well as” to add the forecast period. The overview also attempts a longer sentence with a contrast introduced by “despite,” showing some willingness to go beyond simple statements. However, that sentence is not controlled: “despite, being at the last at the beginning” has an awkward construction, and the following clause, “The percentage … was at the top in first,” is incomplete in meaning and ends with an unfinished phrase. Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the comma after “despite.” Practise writing complete comparisons with clear subjects and verbs, for example, “Although Indonesia had the lowest share in 1970, its figure rose steadily.”

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