Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows the changes occure in ubran population in four nations Thiland, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Philipines from year 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and2040.

Overall,population of Malaysia and Indonasia is continuesly moving towards towns without any major decline in there number. In comparison, Philippines population in start fastly move in cities but with the passage of time there % start decreasing in urban areas.

Indonesian population in the 1970 is 12% in cities it continues to increase with a modrate rate and reached to about 50% future predictions shows it will reached near 60% by the year 2040. In contrast, Philppines population in cities is about 30% in 1970 remains relatively same for 10 years with little change but after that surge instently and reached to 50% in year 1990 afterwards its % of urbanization decline with a steady manner and become 40% in year 2020 future population estimate indicate it will reach to above 50% by year the 2040.

Moreover, Malaysian population fastly move in urban comunity without any decline in its % Malaysian population in urban areas is 30% in 1970 and become more than 70% it willd rech to 85% in year 2040. At last, Thiland % of population in cities is below 20% in 1970 its poulation urbanise fastly and their number become 30% in 1990 and then it remains stable for future year 2020 but future estimate reveals sharp surge in population and become 50% in year 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four countries and include an overview that identifies Malaysia and Indonesia as rising, while noting the Philippines’ fluctuation. Several comparisons and key stages are also reported, such as Malaysia’s rise from about 30% to over 70% and Thailand’s later increase. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: Indonesia is given as 12% in 1970 and about 50% by 2020, whereas the chart shows approximately 14% and 52%; the Philippines is described as falling to 40% in 2020, rather than about 45.5%. The overview also overlooks Malaysia’s position as the highest throughout most of the period and Indonesia’s strong growth. More precise figures and a clearer summary of the main rankings would make the coverage more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the countries. Grouping the Philippines and Indonesia before Malaysia and Thailand gives the reader a workable route through the data, and phrases such as “In contrast” signal comparison. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several trends and time periods are packed into long sentences. The overview’s contrast between Malaysia/Indonesia and the Philippines is useful, but Thailand’s pattern is not included there. Some linking is mechanical, particularly “Moreover” and “At last,” and references such as “their number” are not always clear. Use shorter, more controlled comparisons and organise the details consistently by country or by trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “urban population,” “predictions,” “decline,” “stable,” and “surge,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts to vary expression, for example “move in urban community” and “urbanise.” However, a number of word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “population … is continuesly moving towards towns,” “fastly move,” and “surge instently.” Spelling errors such as “Thiland,” “Philipines,” “Indonasia,” and “modrate” are noticeable and reduce precision. Aim for standard chart language such as “the proportion living in cities increased,” and check spelling carefully. More accurate phrasing would help you express trends without relying on awkward or repeated constructions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons introduced by “In contrast” and clauses describing future estimates. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven. Examples include “population of Malaysia and Indonasia is continuesly moving,” where the verb construction is faulty, and “future predictions shows it will reached,” which has agreement and verb-form errors. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention: “the 1970” and the long sentence beginning “In contrast, Philppines population…” would be clearer with corrected articles and punctuation. Try to build accurate sentences around a consistent pattern: “The proportion rose from X in 1970 to Y in 2020, and is projected to reach Z.” This will let you retain range while improving accuracy.

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