Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart tracks the proportion of population in four different cities Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia between 1970 to 2040. It is measured percentage (total population).

Overall, the malaysia and indonesia population increased over the period. While Philippines population small fluctuations, thailand stable at middle years again grew at the end.

In 1970, the malaysia population in 30 % slightly increased in 2000 to 2020 ,around 60% to 75% . However, the highest percentage in four different cities in 2040, around 80%. Whereas, indonesia about 11% population in 1970 sharply increase 20% in 2000. While, in 2020 to 2040 gradually rose with around 45% to 60% respectively.

In contrast, phillipines had 30% population at staring year ,slightly increase 1990 was about 45% again drops significantly. In 2040 slightly rise 55% population. However, thailand in 1970 has 20% slightly increase in 1990 had 25% stable at 2020 . Again increase in 2040 was 50%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the overall upward movement in Malaysia and Indonesia, the fluctuations in the Philippines, and Thailand’s later rise, and you make relevant comparisons between the four series. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: Indonesia starts at about 14%, not 11%, and reaches roughly 31% by 2000 rather than 20%; Thailand is around 30% in 1990 and 34% in 2020, not 25% and simply “stable.” The overview also misses the key contrast that Malaysia finishes highest while Thailand remains lowest, and that Indonesia’s growth is especially strong. Your response covers the task, but several trends and figures need more precise reporting and fuller development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the countries. Grouping Malaysia with Indonesia and then discussing the Philippines and Thailand helps the reader follow the comparisons. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track, particularly in “slightly increased in 2000 to 2020, around 60% to 75%,” where the time span and figures are not clearly connected. Several sentence openings—“While,” “Whereas,” and “However”—are used mechanically or leave fragments, so the relationships between ideas are not always clear. Use complete sentences and link each figure explicitly to its year; this would make the overall organisation more coherent and cohesion less dependent on repeated contrast markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary such as “proportion,” “percentage,” “fluctuations,” “stable,” and “gradually rose,” showing an adequate range for describing trends. Some choices, however, are imprecise or unnatural: “the Malaysia population” and “the highest percentage in four different cities” do not accurately describe the share of each country’s population living in urban areas. “Drops significantly” also overstates the Philippines’ decline, which is modest. Spelling errors such as “phillipines” and “staring” reduce accuracy, while repeated use of “increase” limits variety. Aim for precise collocations such as “the proportion living in cities” and distinguish a slight fall from a sharp decline.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence patterns, including contrasts introduced by “While” and “Whereas,” and the main trends can generally be understood. However, these clauses are often incomplete or poorly connected: “While Philippines population small fluctuations” has no main verb, and “Whereas, indonesia about 11% population…” is also a fragment. There are recurring problems with articles, prepositions, and sentence construction, as in “It is measured percentage” and “the Malaysia population in 30%.” Tense and agreement are also inconsistent in phrases such as “thailand in 1970 has 20%.” Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences and use a consistent past tense for historical data, with future forms for predictions.

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