Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrates the information about the proportion of the population in four Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, the percentage of Malaysia and Indonesia has increased significantly over the years. While Phillippines and Thailand has also surged but these countries has less increased as compare to others.

On the one hand, Indonesia has 14% in 1970 but after few years, it showed a dramatic rise and reached 25% in 2000. Although, in 2010, the population of Indonesia rose sharply and reached 50% respectively. Similarly, the population has increased dramaticaly and becomes almost 60 in 2040. So, the population of Malasia has started from 30% in 1970 and reached 70% in 2010. After that Malasia has increased singnificantly becomes almost 80% in 2040.

On the other hand, the population of Phillippines and Thailand has increased with the passage of time. Both started from 30% and 19% in 1970, but after some time both of these countries has increased and reached 50% and 25% in 1990. At the end, the population of both of these countries have increased dramatically and reached 50% and 45% in 2040.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the overall upward movement and make relevant comparisons between the four countries, including Malaysia’s high projected figure and the more moderate rise in the Philippines and Thailand. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: Indonesia reaches about 25% in 1990, not 2000, and about 43% in 2010 rather than 50%; the Philippines and Thailand do not both reach 50% and 25% in 1990. The overview also says Malaysia and Indonesia increased more than the other countries, but does not clearly highlight that Malaysia is highest by 2040 while Indonesia overtakes the Philippines around 2010. Select a few accurate turning points and compare them precisely to make the main features clearer and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping Indonesia with Malaysia and the Philippines with Thailand. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” signal the grouping. However, the sequencing within paragraphs is sometimes confusing. For example, “reached 25% in 2000” followed by “in 2010” makes the timeline difficult to follow, while “respectively” does not clearly identify which figure belongs to which country. The repeated use of “after that” and “at the end” also makes cohesion somewhat mechanical. Use chronological transitions and explicit country references to make comparisons easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “dramatic rise,” “rose sharply,” “increased significantly,” and “reached,” so the general meaning is usually clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “the percentage of Malaysia” is less precise than referring to the proportion of its population, and “less increased as compare to others” is awkward. Spelling errors such as “Phillippines,” “Malasia,” “dramaticaly,” and “singnificantly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural expressions for describing data, and check spelling carefully. Vary repeated verbs such as “increased” with suitable alternatives, while ensuring that each alternative accurately describes the size and direction of the change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including the contrast beginning “Although, in 2010…” and the overview sentence beginning “While…,” but these constructions are not consistently controlled. Subject–verb agreement errors occur in “Philippines and Thailand has” and “these countries has,” and tense shifts such as “has started” and “has increased” are awkward in a description of past data and future projections. The sentence beginning “Although” is also incomplete as written, and several clauses are joined in ways that make the relationships unclear. Use past simple for historical figures and “is projected/expected to” for forecasts, and check that each sentence has a complete main clause with matching subjects and verbs.

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