Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given line graphs indicate the number of populations who are living in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesian cities from 1970 to 2040. In general, the total num of peoples who are living in Malaysia increased from 30 percent to approximately 80 percent.

As per the given information in the graph, the population of all countries is increasing expect Philippines population is dropping. In 1990 its touches to 50 percent. As time went it become gradually dropping. On the other hand, Indonesian population rising from 10.5 to approximately 60 percent in 2040. And onward also leasing as shown the line in graph. Moreover, the Thailand population is also increasing but not so far as Philippines. As so far, the Thailand population increase in 1980. And gradually it moves more or more in 2040.

Population who are stayed in Malaysia cities are increasing now and in future so far. after that it becomes increased from 30 percent in 1980 and in future it will hit approximately 80 percent

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies some relevant overall movement, especially Malaysia’s rise from about 30% to around 80%, and notes that Indonesia grows substantially. However, the account is incomplete and sometimes inaccurate: the Philippines does not simply keep dropping after 1990, since its figure rises again after 2010, while Malaysia is described as increasing without a clear account of its strong lead. The statement that all countries increase “expect Philippines population is dropping” also misses the Philippines’ fluctuating pattern. Thailand’s trend is mentioned, but its figures and comparisons are vague. To make the summary more effective, give a clear overview of the main contrasts and report a few accurate start, end, or turning-point values for each country.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, a general statement and linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Moreover.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because the country-by-country information is not arranged consistently, and Malaysia is repeated in the final paragraph without adding a clear new comparison. References such as “its” and “it” are sometimes unclear, while phrases including “As so far” do not establish a logical relationship. Grouping the overview first, then describing the countries in a consistent order or comparing the strongest and weakest trends, would make the information easier to follow. Use linking expressions only where their relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “dropping,” “approximately” and “population,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. “Number of populations” and “total num of peoples” are unsuitable for describing percentages, while “leasing” appears to be an incorrect choice in “also leasing as shown the line.” Phrases such as “moves more or more” and “not so far as Philippines” do not express the intended comparisons clearly. Aim for precise terms such as “proportion,” “urban population,” “rose,” “declined” and “remained below,” and check that each phrase fits the trend being described.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few longer sentence forms, for example, “As per the given information in the graph, the population of all countries is increasing…” and “On the other hand…,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns and errors are frequent. Examples include “its touches” instead of a correctly formed past-tense verb, “As time went it become gradually dropping,” and “the Thailand population increase in 1980.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, tense consistency and sentence boundaries, as in “Population who are stayed in Malaysia cities…” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to interpret. Practise accurate past-tense descriptions for historical data and use controlled comparative sentences, such as “Malaysia rose from X to Y, whereas Thailand increased more gradually.”

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